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July 27, 2019 by katmillar Leave a Comment

How To Overcome Your Fear Of Being Visible Online

Do you find yourself procrastinating on putting up that blog post, recording a Facebook Live video or sharing your expertise on social media?

Maybe you post occasionally, but you don’t post boldly and position yourself as an expert.

In this video and blog post, I share with you how to overcome your fear of being visible online.

What do I mean by being visible online?

I mean posting boldly and authentically – on social media, on your website, on all the different platforms that you can be out there in the online world.

Stepping up and owning your space.

Taking authority in your area, in your niche.

Positioning yourself as an expert.

I know that a lot of people have fear around this. I definitely did.

I knew I needed to post more … but I had so much fear coming up.

Thoughts like…

“Who do I think I am?”

“Why would people listen to me?”

“I don’t know enough yet”

“What if people don’t like what I share?”

‘People are gonna find out that I don’t know everything about this topic and therefore what’s the point?

“I can’t put myself out there until I know more”

Impostor syndrome. It’s a killer of dreams!

So, why is it so important to be visible online?

Well, if you’re a small business owner, if you’re wanting to increase your clients, if you wanted to grow your business, if you’re wanting to have a real impact in the world and help more people, you really need to master the ability to put yourself out there to be visible.

That genius zone that you have the gifts that you have. You really need to step up and be out there regularly, consistently and not hiding behind your laptop.

I was talking to a friend today and we were discussing how we used to hide behind our laptop. We used to stay in our comfort zone and we just thought there was something wrong with people not signing up with us.

We thought we were doing all we could.

We were creating content but actually, we weren’t really putting ourselves out there in a way that our full potential called for.

You can kind of dabble a little bit, post a little here and there, put up a motivation quote now and then… but when I’m saying being visible – I mean stepping up, owning a space.

I mean having an opinion, having a voice, sharing your message and not hiding behind things that aren’t really your full essence of what you’re here to do on the planet.

What you’re here to actually achieve and the purpose of why you’ve been born.

I struggled with fearing being visible for years and I learned some really cool strategies that have helped me to be able to just consistently get out there despite the fear.

So, I’m going to go through 3 strategies that you can use to be more visible to show up in a big way. To do what you know you’re here on this planet to do and make the impact that you’re here to make.

1. Identify the belief that’s causing the fear

The first thing that you want to do is identify the belief that’s actually causing the fear. Identify the belief that’s causing the fear.

There’s some kind of belief that you have that’s driving this fear of not wanting to play full out. Not wanting to say everything that you wanted to say. Not wanting to fully own the whole message. You might just be bringing parts of yourself to the world. You’re just showing a little bit.

I’m not saying show everything about your whole life, but about your message. You’ve got to know what’s effective – what’s going to be the best outcome to the people that are following you.

There’s a belief that’s driving to fear us so, whenever we have a belief, A belief is basically every thought that we accept as truth. Every thought that we accept as truth is a belief.

You don’t have to believe every thought that you think. Just because a thought pops into your mind, we don’t have to believe it. We don’t have to play to it.

We can choose whether we want actually believe that thought.

So, if you have fear, it’s coming from a thought and you want to identify what is actually the belief.

So once you’ve identified the, you might think “I know what’s causing the fear. I’m actually scared that someone is gonna see me online who knows that in my past I’ve done things incongruent to actually what I’m sharing, the message that I’m sharing now.”

I’m saying this as an example because I was talking to a client today and it’s exactly what she said.

And the truth is that is true for all of us because where this life there is mess, when there’s humanity, there’s imperfection.

All of us live out of alignment with what we’re teaching at some point in time, because we’re human.

So if you put this bar on yourself that you have to be perfect all the time, it waters down your message. That’s gonna keep you really small. That’s gonna stop you from being visible.

So you’ve got to find the belief.

Maybe it’s that you feel like you don’t know enough, that you’re not smart enough. Maybe you feel like you aren’t pretty enough to get on camera. Or that you don’t know enough about technology.

Maybe the belief is that you need to go into another course.

Maybe you think you need to have 5 successful clients and have testimonials before you can actually say that you are an expert in this space.

The truth is, you can start helping people right away. You don’t need to have a certain amount of people in your email list or a certain amount of facebook followers.

You can literally start helping people now.

I used to have a belief that I had to have a certain amount of followers, and a certain size of email list before I could start teaching other people. That’s not true. I can help my clients right now, because I know how to teach them what I’ve learned and applied myself.

Sometimes we wait until we’ve got things all perfectly together. And the cost of that is, people miss out on your genius. They miss out on what you can bring out to the world to help them because you’re letting this fear hold you back.

Maybe you’re believing that you’re believing something that’s keeping you small. It’s keeping you invisible. It’s stopping you from stepping up. You need to identify what I need to believe in order to take action.

I’ve talked to many people who feel like they have to have all these steps in place before they go out on social media and share their message or own their niche.

It’s stopping them putting that first authentic message out, or that first Facebook Live, that first post actually teaching on your area of expertise or your topic.

That belief doesn’t serve you or your tribe.

Also, sometimes, it’s about getting out there – even though you still feel the fear.

When you can actually really learn how to control your mindset around it, that actually reduces the fear.

I’m not gonna try and pretend that the fear completely goes away, because it actually doesn’t.

The fear is there every time we push it out of comfort zone, every time we go and up that level.

That fear is gonna try and keep us safe. And that’s a good thing, you know, it’s just part of our brain that wants to keep us safe. So actually, it’s good to accept that the fear’s never gonna go away.

You just have to learn to take action despite the fear.

Remember the fear is driven by a belief. Identify the belief, write it down.

 

2. Identify the belief needed to take action

What belief do you need to believe in order to take action?

Maybe you need to believe that perfection doesn’t exist.

That it’s all about progress, not perfection.

That there are people out there benefit from what I’m sharing even if I don’t have 10 clients. Even if I’m not perfect.

Let’s say you’re a Health Coach and you think “I need to lose weight and I need to be at my perfect size before I can be a health coach because people are going to judge me otherwise”.

You need to know that your approach to someone has nothing to do with your own personal results. That is making it about you.

 

Yes, some people might judge the material, of course, there are gonna be some people out there who judge.

But if you think about all the examples of coaches who are helping people and they are not as good as the player.

So, for example, Tiger Woods, his coach is not as good a golfer as Tiger Woods, but he’s an excellent coach.

There are multiple examples in Sport where the actual coach is not better than the player but they’re just excellent at coaching.

So just because you haven’t reached a certain level doesn’t mean you can’t coach people in it, cause you absolutely can!

If you make it all about your results and you haven’t to achieve perfection before you can help others, you’ll be waiting a long time and people will be missing out.

It’s just something that you gotta decide “What belief do I need to have to get myself out there and be visible?”

For example “I need to believe that what I say is valuable and worthy of people listening to it and responding to it”.

If you don’t believe that, people pick up that energy because you’re not owning the worth. Build your self-worth.

You may need to write out a list of reasons why you deserve it to do that. Write then reasons why what you have to offer is valuable.

I recommend 80 minimum reasons (100 is better) WHY – you really need to live out of the belief you need to take action.

For example, I need to believe that it’s not about perfection, it’s about being visible. That someone is going to get helped with what I have to share in the world.

That simple belief I need to operate from and that fuel that drives you, that’s gonna be such a more powerful fuel than operating out of fear.

Think – “What do I actually need to believe in order to get visible?”

Well, first of all, I need to believe that if people judge me or not, that’s none of my business.

I need to believe that if people think I’m not good enough, it’s none of my business. I’m not gonna let that person who might judge me, stop me from all these people getting benefit from.

For me, I was really worried about what my ex-boss might think. So all these people that could benefit from what I offered missed out because of this one person who wasn’t even my ideal client that I don’t even see anymore – that’s actually quite ridiculous.

When you figure out who’s the SPECIFIC person that you’re most afraid of, you can do practical things like not share it to them.

You can customise your Facebook, so you’re actually not showing it to these certain people that make you feel like that.

Or you can say, this is me. It’s too hard to pretend to be someone else and all these people are missing out if I don’t do it.

 

3. Strengthen your why

If you’ve done any kind of reading about leadership, about business, so many of them come back to this “why” and what is your ‘why’? Simon Sinek talks a lot about it. Many great successful people talk about it.

Sometimes we lose track of our why. If we are thinking about ourselves and thinking about what we are gonna get out of it, we probably won’t be motivated at all or inspired to take action and actually be out there and be visible.

But if we are thinking about our why, about the stronger, bigger reason, the reason that is beyond us or bigger than us, that is gonna motivate us.

That is gonna fuel us and drive us to actually take action and do hard things, do uncomfortable things.

I used to hate, doing Facebook Lives. I felt so awkward. I was judging myself so much. So fearful of other people judging me. You know if I said um’s and uh’s. And if I didn’t get it all perfect.

I’ve never done a perfect Facebook Live, ever! Always had some kind of stumble, always had some kind of, I haven’t expressed myself so eloquently as I wanted to.

But people still get help from my Facebook Live and I get messages all the time saying that “It was really helpful” or “I’ve applied that” or “This was exactly what I needed to hear”.

If I had let that desire for perfection hold me back and make me fearful of being visible and showing up online even when I didn’t feel like it. If I succumb to that fear, I would never have got better at it.

Competence builds confidence.

When you feel more comfortable with something, you feel more confident, right?

We have to show up and be visible and not get it perfect and let go of that fiction. And a really good way to do it is to make sure we understand why it’s so important.

You might know your why, logically know your why, but we need to strengthen the why.

With strength in it, through repetition, through reminding ourselves all the reasons why it’s so important.

What you can do with this strategy is literally write down as many reasons as you can think of why it’s important for you to show up and be visible.

That is gonna be the fuel, the emotional fuel that going to drive you to do it – even if you don’t feel like it.

Or it’s going to make you feel like doing it.

Sometimes it’s the case of showing up because you’ve committed.

I show up to do a Facebook Live video every week because I’ve committed to that. Even though I don’t always feel like it. But I have such a big reason for doing it. I’m so connected to my ‘why’ because I’m so passionate about helping entrepreneurs.

I want to help more people to help more people to help more people – because the ripple effect of leaders getting on purpose, the ripple effect of leaders stepping up and being brave and bold and being visible and out there is gonna impact families, impact communities.

So my WHY is so much bigger than me, right?

It’s not about me thinking “What I’m gonna get out of it”. It’s actually when I focus on the message that I’m sharing – when I focus on what’s coming through me as a message, I can get the download and I pour it out.

It’s like a songwriter that’s releasing the song into the world. And then that song becomes everyone’s song.

If the songwriter had held that in, and not been visible, not taken it to their band in its infant stage before it was developed and crafted, then the rest of the world would have missed out on those songs.

I know this because I used to write songs for a band. There was that level of vulnerability when you take your song idea to a band and say “Hey, this is my idea, it’s not fully formed, it’s not fully crafted.”

You’re presenting an idea and you’re throwing it out there for judgment.

Or that art piece, or whatever it is that people who have created it. There’s always an element of vulnerability when we get visible when we put ourselves out there.

There are 2 different things that we can focus on, we can focus on the limiting belief, the mindset, the root cause of what is driving us to feel not good enough, not smart enough, not whatever enough, it’s always about not being enough.

Work on that mindset and we need to chip away that mindset or we can just take action despite that mindset and let the belief catch up themselves.

And beliefs do start to change when we take action and give our brain evidence to prove it wrong.

We’ve got to give our brain evidence that would say it’s actually quite enjoyable to share our message.

If you think about it, you get a captive audience – probably not your friends and family (because they are bored of you talking about business!)

So you can put it into a group or into a business page when you know that people are gonna get helped by it. How much joy is it in that? You get to share your message!

This is probably a big part of why you’re in business – because you want to share your message and have a bigger impact. You want to help people to get inspired. Get on purpose and change their life.

Being visible allows you to do this.

So to strengthen that why you might think “How is my being visible going to get all of my highest values?”

And then you realise – being visible is going to help me help more people. Being visible is going to give me more income. To help me make more impact. It’s going to help me get better as a speaker. It’s going to help me craft my messages.

There are so many benefits. So I recommend that to strengthen that why that you write them out.

That is no match for fear. Love is stronger than fear.

Connect them with your why, with your heart, your passion, your reasons, and NOTHING will stop you from being out there.

So I’m going recap that three ways to overcome your fear of being visible:

1 – Identify the belief driving that fear

2 – Identify the belief that you need to get visible

3 – Strengthen your why

These are the exact steps I took to get myself (a self-confessed recovering people-pleaser, perfectionist, and introvert) out there and successfully running a profitable business.

They work!

Want to know how to attract your ideal clients?

Do you want to know the BEST way to get clients, EVEN IF you’re just starting out?

Do you want to know, with CERTAINTY, how to create a profitable business?

So you can make a deeper impact with your message…

Create the income you deserve…

And position yourself as the go-to expert in your niche?

If you know that deep inside you there’s a burning for more. ??

To help more people…

To make a bigger difference…

And you’re frustrated that time is ticking and it’s not happening at the rate you want it to… ⏳

Join me at my upcoming 1-Day Workshop on Saturday 24th October

‘How To Get New Clients With Online Events’

This event is for the people who are ready to roll up their sleeves and get stuck in to action…

You’ll learn the best tools to help you sign up paying clients with online events.

So if you are building a business or wanting to build a business – pop this date in your diary and join us at this event!

Learn More or grab your free ticket

See you soon!

Kat

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Business, Business coach, Business growth, Client Attraction, marketing, Mindset, Motivation, presenting, Public speaking, Social Media

July 25, 2019 by katmillar Leave a Comment

2 Compelling Traits You Need In Order To Influence People

In this video and blog post, I share with you 2 compelling traits you need in order to influence people.

 

What are the compelling traits that you need in order to influence people?

We’re not born with the skill of being able to influence people, it’s something that we need to practice and master. And we can keep getting better for the rest of our lives.

Authentic influence is about helping people to get what they want, to understand what are the limiting beliefs, some of the mindsets that are stopping them from getting what they want, and becoming the most awesome version of themselves.

If you want to grow your business, attract more clients, make more money and help more people, then you need to learn how to be a compelling person and how to magnetise people towards you.

You need to know how to be charismatic, how to be confident, how to be attractive to the people that you’re serving, that you’re helping.

So think about right now, think about the people in your life that you are influencing, that you’re having an influence over, and the people that you want to have more fun with.

Whether that is your tribe, your community.

It might be your followers on Instagram or Facebook.

The people that are watching your life – maybe people that your clients are coming to see your workshop.

It could be people that you want to attract into your business.

Maybe it’s your peers or colleagues or joint venture partners with – there are so many different people that we influence.

We also influence our friends and our family.

You’re already an influencer, you’re already influencing people as it is.

So if you want to get better at it, there are two traits that you really need to have in balance.

There’s always an equal and opposite reaction.

Whenever there is light there is dark, whenever there is good, there is bad.

That opposite, that polarisation happens all throughout the laws of the universe if you think male: female, masculine: feminine.

And these are the two traits that we need.

Number one, we need strength.

And number two, we need warmth.

Strength and warmth are key attributes that define the quality of our relationships with others.

If you think about it, if we have the strength and we don’t have any warmth, we’re not particularly compelling and attractive and influential.

Imagine someone really strong, direct, blunt, really kind of forceful, with no warmth – that can be a real turnoff.

And then imagine someone really warm, really loving, very feminine energy. But it’s not strong at all, it’s just too much on the warmth end of the spectrum. It can be too fluffy and overly ‘nice’.

They also are not compelling, because we don’t always feel safe with them or that they are going to give us a result.

To be compelling, we need both.

Strength

Strong people exude a sense of inner ability, strength and confidence. We can be influenced by them and follow them (so they are often in leadership positions). But strength alone is not the key to leadership. Without the warmth we may respect them, but we may not like nor trust them.

Strength is about competency. You all know those people that are super competent, and super confident. And you just feel safe, when you’ve got that strength, you can help people feel safe around you.

When you’re competent, when you can help them to get what they want, when you can show them that you are the person that can get them from A to B, you’re the person that can make them feel secure and safe and supported in your strength, you know, because you’re strong.

Strength is about competency. It’s about respect.

So often we command respect by being competent, by being confident, by being strong.

Strength is usually more testosterone-driven.

So more men tend to have this, but there are definitely women that have this down this end of the spectrum, but it’s more of a feminine rather than a male-female thing.

If you’ve got a lot of testosterone in that energy, then you’ll have that strength. We need to have that strength when we are influencing people.

Think about when you’re in a sale, you cannot just be warm, you cannot just be lovely and nice. And what do you think and what do you want, and we’ve got to actually have that strength, we’ve got to be strong, we’ve got to show people we can help you, I can help you.

We are reliable we, you know, you’ve got to draw their respect from people because and I know as an adult teacher, I had to always walk into the classroom and get respect from them rather than love and friendship from them.

I learned that from my teacher friends, I asked them, “How do I be a good teacher?” and they said, “Don’t try and be friends with the students”. Get their respect first. That’s the strength.

They need to respect you and know you have that strength first.

And then you add that flavor of warmth once you’ve got that.

So, you probably sit somewhere along that end of the spectrum.

If you’re more on the strength side, you’re probably quite direct, quite blunt, you probably use quite a big movement.

Someone who is very strong, they use big movements, they have very open space, they command attention, they command respect, they have a big presence. They are usually quite big in their gestures, and quite open.

So if you’re too much in your strength energy, and you’re wanting to be a little bit warmer, (because we need both), bring it in a little bit with your body language.

So maybe touch that person on the shoulder, maybe sit closer to them, actually pull them in closer to your proximity.

If you are really strong energy already, just to bring a little bit more warmth. And you might just match and mirror that person a little bit more. So that you’re getting more warmth because they’re feeling kind of getting that emotional feeling going.

If you are very direct already, and you want to be more of a warm person because you maybe feel that being too strong and too direct and blunt, and too in your masculine energy.  Like let’s just get the job done, the fastest way from A to B, let’s not worry about, you know, all the feel-good stuff.

If you don’t have any feel-good stuff, you’ve got zero, then people can feel like it’s all about the task. We want to check more into our warmth if we’re in that in that kind of mode.

Warmth

Warmth is the perception someone cares for us. They listen, understand us, even empathise with us.

We distrust people’s motives who lack warmth. They put us on our guard and we try to avoid them.

Warmth is empathy. Empathising with that person. And we do that by nodding, by agreeing with someone, by validating their emotions, by helping them feel really safe. It’s a really different kind of safety.

With strength, with that energy, you feel safe because it’s results-driven. You’re safe because I’m going to get the job done for you, you’re very confident.

The warmth is more about showing – you’re safe with me because you can open up, you can be vulnerable.

The warmth is very vulnerable. It’s our feminine, it’s our nurturer. It’s about making people feel really accepted and loved.

Warm people tend to be smaller with their gestures, their body language is usually softer and there’s more smiling.  It can be a little bit more tilted, so we go asymmetrical to be warmth, where strong energy is very symmetrical.

If you think about it when you say something and you’re certain, and you’re strong, you say it in symmetry, feet together, not one foot forward. Hands-on the hips, very strong.

The warmth is with open palms.

So if you’re wanting to bring out more warmth, then we do more open palms, plus a tilt of the head which is very vulnerable.

In terms of body language, with the strength, it’s usually big actions, very open, they’re not matching or mirroring, they’re being strong, and they command respect.

We respect those people, if there is enough warmth.

The warmth is the love. The strength is the respect.

We need both, we need both types of energy. If we’re too much on this end of the spectrum, people aren’t going to feel a connection to us, They’re not going to necessarily feel drawn to us and be compelled, they might not even like us.

They might respect us, but they probably really don’t like us.

And on this side, on the warmth side, we can really feel like someone’s really loving and warm, where you just feel the love and feel looked after.

But we probably wouldn’t trust them to help us buy a house or to help us manage our money or to help us solve our problems. Right?

In addition, when you’re in a sales conversation, for example, we need to go back and forth, kind of like the infinity symbol, we go into our strength, then we go into our warmth. And we need to adjust where we fit in on the spectrum.

It’s basically Yin and Yang.

Competency, empathy.

Respect, connection.

We need to balance and go back and forth.

We need to actually show the person that we’re influencing or that we’re working with, that we’re connecting with, that we are both –  that we can be both.

So when I’m in a sales conversation, the majority is warmth – questioning, building rapport, matching body language. The matching of body language is very much the warmth, it’s making the person feel very comfortable and very connected, very validated in their feelings.

And then when it gets to the results part of the sale, when I’m actually going to share with them how I can help them, I turn on my strength.

I say things like “Look, I know you’re sick and tired of xyz, let’s just get rid of that, let’s just move on, like, why don’t we get started?

I’ll go into that strong energy because if you stay in the warmth in that sales conversation and say things like “How do you feel. what would you like to do, you know, have a think about it” etc. and you go all passive it doesn’t work, it kills the sale.

Whereas if you start the sales conversation too strong and you’re really dictator-like and very direct and blunt, you’re also going kill the sale before it’s really even begun.

So, in a sales conversation where you want to influence someone. I recommend that you come in with your warmth, and then you, you dip and out of your strength – you say to someone “Look, I can absolutely help you with that” and you say it with certainty and conviction.

You go into this strong energy, you feel it – you’re tonality is strong it’s not questioning.

Whenever we’re communicating with people we’ve got to be thinking, what is needed more right now? Strength or warmth? Respect or connection? Competence, or compassion?

We’ve all got access those two compelling traits that you need to really effectively influence people. When you have both of these and a beautiful balance, which takes time and practice and skill, you can influence anyway.

You can use this on videos, you can use in your writing, you can use it in your workshops, you can use it in all of your communication and you will be incredibly influential and you’ll be perceived as an incredibly compelling and influential person.

And then I leave you with a quote that I love, which is, ” If you want to be liked, you need to like people”. And when you like people genuinely like people, you want to serve them, you want to help them you want to give them the best of you.

And the best of you is when you can get a really good balance between being really strong and being really warm.

If we get those two things right and balance, you will be absolutely unstoppable my friend.

So my question to you is, where do you sit on the spectrum? Are you naturally more in your strength or in your warmth?

And what can you do to move a little bit closer to the other side, or to just be in a little bit of more of a balance and a flow?

I hope it’s really helped knowing the two compelling traits that you need for influence.

Go and practice them this week, and let me know how you go.

 

 

Would you like to know how to attract and sign up new clients?

Join us at my upcoming 1-Day Workshop in Sydney, Saturday 17th August

‘How To Attract Your Ideal Clients’

 

 

This event is for people who are ready to roll up their sleeves and grow their business.

ALL the enthusiastic, positive, grateful clients imaginable are out there right now, ready and waiting for you.

All you need is the right system to attract them into your business.

You’ll learn the best marketing tools and a proven system to attract them.

If you’re unhappy with the money you’re earning, you HAVEN’T applied the right system yet. At this workshop, I’m sharing a rarely-utilised strategy that will be your new secret client-getting advantage.

Earlybird offer available until Sunday, 11th August

So if you are building a business or wanting to build a business – check it out.

Learn More

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Amplify Your Influence, Business, Business coach, Business growth, Confidence, Influence, Inspiration, marketing, Motivation, sales

June 27, 2016 by katmillar Leave a Comment

How to Get your OOMPH Back

Do you ever feel like you’ve just lost your 'OOMPH’?

Like you've dropped the ball, fallen off the wagon, lost your zing, left your zone - however you choose to phase it, I'm sure you know that feeling where you just feel ... like you don't have that same DRIVE that you had before.

Another word for 'oomph' could be 'mojo; (remember Austin Powers?)

"Mojo: A power that may seem magical and that allows someone to be very effective and successful"

Mojo seems magical, but it usually comes as a actually a result of taking specific actions. When you're in your mojo, your oomph, your zone, your POWER - things feel much more effortless ... and also more fun! 

So here are 3 of my top tips to get your OOMPH back:

1. Be CRYSTAL clear on what you want

Crystal

In his book 'Clarity', James Smart states:

“If a pond is clouded with mud, there’s nothing you can do to make the water clear. But when you allow the mud to settle,  it will clear on its own, because clarity is the water’s natural state…

Clarity is your mind’s natural state.

As people allow their mud to settle, clarity emerges, and they discover they have what they need for the job at hand. 

So... How does clarity work, and why do so many people struggle to find it?

It’s well known that outstanding leaders in every field, from Olympic medal-winners to visionary entrepreneurs, profit from the flow-states that a clear mind brings.

Why is clarity essential?

Many of the most desirable qualities people struggle to “develop”… are actually innate, emergent properties of an uncluttered mind.

These drive the results people desire.

Clarity is the source of high performance. It allows us to be present in the moment, and have an enjoyable experience of life...

As a result of getting clear, you’ll find that you start having

a) an effortlessly clear mind

b) more time for what’s important

c) improved decision making

d) better performance where it counts and

e) more of the results that matter to you.

Our mental clarity is under attack… And, as that attention gets gobbled up, our minds become over-revved, weary and congested.

Mental congestion results in time poverty, strained relationships, fumbled goals, poor performance and unrealised potential.

And mental congestion is expensive.

The painful cost to individuals in terms of anxiety, distraction and conflict has a devastating knock-on effect; the price people are paying for lack of clarity is astronomical.

As you start undoing the conditioning that’s been keeping you from clarity until now, and notice yourself experiencing a clear mind more and more frequently (with all the benefits it brings).”

Clarity is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

What do you need to do to create more clarity for yourself today?

2. Eliminate opposing forces

 Obstacle_sml

In his blog, James Clear discusses eliminating opposing forces.

He talks how we all have an average speed that we tend to perform at in life.

“Your typical levels of productivity and efficiency are often a balance of the productive and unproductive forces in your life...

There are productive forces in our lives like focus, positivity and motivation.

There are also unproductive forces like stress, lack of sleep, and trying to juggle too many tasks at once. If we want to become more effective and more productive, then we have two choices.

The first option is to add more productive force.

This is the “power through it” option… Obviously, you can only do this for so long before you burn out, but for a brief moment the “power through it” strategy can work well.

The second option is to eliminate the opposing forces.

Simplify your life, learn to say no, change your environment, reduce the number of responsibilities that you take on, and otherwise eliminate the forces that are holding you back.

If you reduce the unproductive forces in your life, your productivity will glide forward naturally. It’s like you magically remove the hand that has been holding you back.

Most people try to power through and hammer their way past the barriers. The problem with this strategy is that you’re still dealing with the other force.

I find it to be much less stressful to cut out the opposing forces”

This is such a helpful way to look at it, and it tends to go against what many people in the fitness industry say. Just "harden up and get on with it" doesn't work for everyone. 

Eliminating opposing forces / obstacles may mean adjusting how you spend your time.

This could be:

a. removing certain distractions

b. spending less time with certain people

c. avoiding certain environments 

These things can make it easier on yourself to make the choices that will take you where you want to go.

For example:

* Do you struggle with craving sugar when you watch certain ads on TV, or look at certain posts on Instagram? Remove the obstacle - don't watch the ads and unfollow anyone who posts up photos of things that get you heading for the kitchen when you're not even hungry.

* Do you find it hard to say no to another piece of pizza when you're with certain friends, and you're trying to cut down? Remove the obstacle - meet them for a coffee instead

* Do you find yourself drinking too much when you go to certain places? Remove the obstacle - find a hobby you're passionate about that you can get stuck into instead

Much easier than trying to smash your way past the obstacles, especially if you're finding you're having to use a lot of willpower - or that you're giving in, then feeling crap about it.

Simply remove or reduce those things in your life that are in the way of you getting the body and health that you want. What could you start with, today?

Another great blog I came across is about how to have a productive active rest day. Helen Sanders discusses the importance of rest and provides some great tips on rest days. 

3. Every day, ask yourself empowering questions  

Question_markEmpowering questions help us focus our mind on what's important.

They help our brain to focus on what we want - rather than what we don't want, which often comes as a result of asking ourselves disempowering questions, such as:

"What's wrong with me?"

"Why do I always sabotage?"

"Why can't I stick at anything?"

"It's not fair. Why me?"

When we ask these questions, our brain goes searching for an answer and usually finds it. It looks for all the evidence from the past to back up the question. 

It can lead you feeling totally disempowered, weak and helpless. 

Empowering questions on the other hand, encourage your brain to go to work to find all the many times that you HAVE been successful in your life. 

Motivational speaker, Les Brown says "Every morning ask yourself 3 things - what's my attitude, my focus and my energy today"?

I believe asking yourself powerful questions in the morning can really set the tone for your whole day.

Some sample 30 second morning questions

  1. How else can I think bigger today?
  1. What's one thing I can improve in my life today?
  1. Who else can I help today?
  2. How can I better maximise my strengths?

Which ones appeal to you?

Or can you think of some other empowering questions to ask yourself daily?

Write at least one down and ask yourself it tomorrow morning and for the coming week. Write down the answers. You might be surprised with what you come up with!

I'd love to hear how it worked for you. 

If you’d like to know more about how to achieve your health and fitness goals, please visit my services page here. 

I also offer a 15 minute mini-session to help you strategise your action plan to take you closer to your health and body goals. Email me to book in: info@katmillar.com

I’d love to connect!

To your Health and Happiness,
Kat

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Mojo, Motivation, Oomph

June 26, 2016 by katmillar Leave a Comment

Protected: 3 Secrets To Getting The Body You Want… What The Fitness Industry Isn’t Telling You

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: 3 secrets, 3 Secrets To Getting The Body You Want, 3 secrets webinar, body transformation, Energy, Motivation, Results for good, Results that last, What the fitness industry isn't telling you

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