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December 20, 2019 by katmillar 2 Comments

3 Game-Changing Thoughts You Can Choose to Believe Right Now

Recently I was listening to my favourite podcast-  The Life Coach School by Brooke Castillo on the way to Port Macquarie, and she has an amazing episode about Thoughts to Believe. 

It got me thinking- what are the thoughts that we choose to believe that can be real game-changing thoughts? 

We have thousands of thoughts every single day. And some of those thoughts are just the same old thoughts that just go round and round…

…What am I going to eat? What am I going to wear? All of those types of thoughts. 

Then we can have these thoughts that I like to call “game-changing thoughts”

Where you actually believe something and you choose to believe it, you choose to think the thought even if part of you may not believe it. 

The way I define game-changing thoughts is they change the way you feel, the way you act, and the way you behave, which therefore changes who you are as a person.

Our identity comes from the way that we see ourselves in the thoughts that we think…

…It’s not from our circumstances, It’s not from our childhood or from who other people have told us that we should be. 

Our identity comes from our thoughts. 

I’m fascinated with thoughts because thoughts shape us thoughts our actions, our feelings, our results, our habits, it all starts with our thinking. 

Brooke Castillo always talks about cleaning up your thoughts and doing “thought downloads” to really observe your thoughts as the observer and say…

…Okay, this is what the thoughts are, am I happy with these thoughts? Or do I need to decide new thoughts? 

This whole concept of we can be very intentional with our thoughts, as opposed to just letting thoughts just randomly come into our mind. 

Believing them just because we thought them doesn’t mean it’s true. 

This train of thought taking you in one direction doesn’t mean we have to be victims of that kind of thought.  

Even thoughts that we had, many years ago, we decided them when we were five or seven or 10. 

Which is when we made a lot of our life-changing decisions about who we are.

We can basically look at those and go- is that thought given me the result that I want? If not, what should I be thinking about? 

What is the person who has the result that I want? My future self? What is she thinking about? What is she believing? 

Maybe you want to make 100 grand a year in your business. Going into the identity of that business person who makes 100 grand, What does he or she thinking about?

What are the thoughts that he or she has on an everyday basis…

…because what if I start thinking those thoughts now in order to become that person that I’m moving towards In the future. 

When it comes to our thought life, we can either randomly let our thoughts come up, we can just go with them, we can indulge them we can just see where they take us. 

Or we can be really intentional.

That’s what I call game-changing thoughts.

I have three for you that I choose to believe that have been real game changes in my life.

1. The Future is Better than the Past

I love this thought because it creates so much possibility and so much opportunity, and so much creativity. 

If the future is better than the past, then all of the amazing experiences that you’ve already had. All the beautiful memories, everything that you’ve created up to this point, it’s going to get better. 

It’s so countercultural. Our culture is always talking about anti-aging and how things are getting worse as we get older, and I don’t believe it.

I feel so much happier now than I did five years ago, even two years ago. 

I feel like my life is getting better and better and better. Because every year I get more knowledge, more experience, more wisdom, more skills. 

Every year I’m learning and growing more. So it feels like every year my life gets better and better and 2019 has been my favourite year so far. 

It’s because of this thought that there was always more, there’s always better that I always thought that coming up to 40 that I was going to be depressed. That I was gonna do something about 40 that felt so old to me. 

I felt the same when I came up to 30. I thought 30-year-olds was so old. 

I remember that when my sister turned to nine, and I was five, I remember thinking that nine was so old. 

 think we’re always going to think that the next decade that we turn is so old. 

I’ve just embraced the past and I’m so excited about getting old. I’m excited about the wisdom that comes with age, year after year.

That I’m going to have more and more money more and more impact, the more lives changed, the longer I’m alive. 

So I say Bring it on, and it’s exciting, and it’s a thought that makes you feel good.

If you want to know if the thought is game-changing or not. Does it make you feel excited or motivated or inspired or passionate, whatever those beautiful positive emotions are?

You know whether your thoughts are spot on based on how you feel. How you feel is a benchmark. 

I know it sounds overly simplistic, but I talked to so many people that are feeling rubbish.

They don’t realise that it’s their thinking that’s actually driving that feeling. It’s not that person, It’s not that circumstance, It’s not that situation.

It’s what you choose to say to yourself. It’s what you choose to believe. 

2. The Discomfort of Growth is Better than the Discomfort of Staying the Same

When I was a personal trainer I used to say to people all the time. 

Choose your hard. 

They go, “Oh, it’s so hard doing lunges, It’s so hard during burpees, it’s so hard making a healthy meal and I go “yeah, it can be hard. Absolutely. So can being overweight and so can feeling crap about yourself and so can not fitting into that dress when you’re going to your Christmas party.” 

It’s really hard to buy a new wardrobe and it’s really hard to have health issues and gut issues. They’re both hard. 

So choose, you don’t have to do anything you want to do.

I know my job as a personal trainer was to push and motivate. 

But I said it’s your choice. You told me you want this body you told me you want to feel great. 

They’re both hard, but one of them is a really short, growth hard and who would rather growth hard than stagnation hard. 

That pain of stagnation, that pain of staying the same and having to grit.

I hate that feeling more than anything. I would rather the feeling of being absolutely exhausted from working really hard than that feeling of being exhausted because you’re just brain dead.

I would rather that tiredness that comes from being alive and on purpose and doing cool stuff in the world any day over the pain of staying the same.

Choose your hard. 

For me, it’s doing the plan, doing the hard habits, doing things even when I don’t feel like it.

I’d much rather have the pain that comes with that than the pain that comes with staying the same and staying stuck.

3. Nothing can Happen that I can’t Handle

I love this thought because it’s helped me get through so many things. 

I do so many crazy things sometimes. And I think, Wow, why am I doing this?

I did three events in three days last week. They were all brand new events.

I had so much going on in the lead up to them that I had to write theme really close to the event. 

I had to write all the PowerPoints and the workbooks and come up with everything. 

I’m doing five events in two weeks. I’ve never done five events in two weeks…

…for me, it just felt really hard and I thought it was going to be so hard it actually wasn’t.

It was way easier than I thought it was going to be. I thought I’ve done four events in three days and doing a workshop twice a month is no big deal. 

It’s like at the gym when you raise the bar. 

I remember when I did my first squat at 100 kilos at triple figures, and I never thought that I could be the kind of person who could squat 100 kilos….

…I just never thought that that would be possible, I found even 50 hard.

But I started doing incremental changes. I just kept putting little plates and little plates and little plates on. And just over time, suddenly I was at 100. 

It wasn’t like I tried to make this massive leap. 

It was just incremental change by consistently showing up to the gym year after year. And it took a lot of time….

…But that incremental change raises your bar, and then it almost makes everything else seem easy. 

I like putting my hand up and saying yes, taking fast action and just saying bring it on. 

If someone asked me, and it’s an opportunity, then I’ll often just take it because I’ll figure it out.

Even if it’s super hard. Having this thought of, whatever happens, I’ll handle it means I can bring many bigger projects than I would if I was stuck and I was worrying and feeling anxious and fearful about what might happen.

I don’t really think about what might happen. I just think whatever is going to happen, I’ll handle it. 

I see people having a lot of drama and stress over things that maybe I would have a few years ago. 

But now I’m solving bigger problems here. I’m doing bigger things than I used to. Those things that used to bother me back then, now I’m just like, bring it on.

I’m a leader if something needs sorting. I’ll handle it. 

Having that thought of, whatever happens, I’ll handle it. It just gives me a lot of safety and security.

All we’re trying to avoid is a feeling and if you’re willing to feel any feeling, if you’re willing to experience any emotion you will take on any challenge because the worst that can happen is a feeling. 

I put myself in uncomfortable feelings regularly. 

Feelings of vulnerability and shame and booking so many events even though I don’t know if people are going to show up.

But I would rather that and feel so alive and so on fire, then stay in comfort because I don’t think I’m going to be able to handle it. 

Leaders have this mindset of I’ll handle it, I’ll do it or whatever it takes to do it. So that’s been a game-changing thought for me. 

So just to recap:

1- The future is better than the past – game-changer

2- The discomfort of growth is better than the discomfort of staying stuck

3- Nothing can happen that I can’t handle

I encourage you to take on these thoughts if you like them, practice them, give them a go write them down if you like them. 

Want to know how to attract and sign up more clients in 2020? 

My next 1-day client attraction workshop is happening on Saturday, 1st February 2020.

 

? In This One Powerful Day You Will Learn:

? The BEST methods to connect instantly with your audience and INFLUENCE them to your ideas

? How to become a master influencer and build authentic trust and a powerful connection with your ideal clients

? How to use neuro-marketing to influence the SUBCONSCIOUS mind in your written and spoken content

? The MOST effective way to design your marketing plan so that you nail your message, and attract the right clients

? The BIGGEST mistakes Coaches make in their marketing and how to avoid them

? A proven, effective marketing plan that you can tailor to your business

If you want to grow a profitable coaching business, this workshop is a must.

2020 is the year to finally let go of what’s holding you back and create the life you dream of!

➡ Full Details Here 

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Amplify Your Influence, Business, Clarity, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Growth, Mindset, Motivation, Personal Growth

December 12, 2019 by katmillar Leave a Comment

3 Key Skills You Need To Grow a Profitable Coaching Business

Do you have the skills to grow a profitable coaching business? Having the right skills is the key to making a profit.

Do you want to be able to make a bigger difference in the world, if you want to attract more money, more income and make a bigger impact? Because that’s what building a great coaching business is all about.

It’s having a profitable business so that you’re not in a job that you don’t love. if you can build a profitable coaching business, in the sphere of your brilliance, in the sphere of your genius zone then you can make a six-figure income doing what you love.

A lot of people say to me things like; “There are so many coaches these days now Kat… how am I going to stand out? how am I actually going to get clients when they so many coaches?”

I say the same thing to them- “I truly believe there’s not going to be enough coaches for the number of problems in the world.”

Take a look at the statistics, it’s all there in black and white. Anxiety on the rise, depression on the rise, suicide, financial issues, divorce, all the stresses that come from the changing economy and technology.

People have a lot of fear, and a lot of issues to overcome. People have limiting beliefs, worries and negative emotions coming up. People need help. Every single one of us has problems, that is just the reality of the human experience.

If you stick in your area of genius, and if you learn the skills that you need to grow a coaching business and separate yourself from your competition, you won’t have competition.

People on mission have no competition.

There are a lot of skills that people need in business: setting up social media pages, getting a CRM, outsourcing your team, getting a virtual assistant, setting up your landing pages, your funnels, your website, everything that’s needed in business all requires different skills.

But there are three core skills that I believe can help Coaches specifically who want to attract more clients.

1. Communicate Your Value Online

The first skill if you want to grow a coaching business, is to be able to communicate your value online. This is a skill that needs a lot of practice, a lot of work to master and it takes time.

But being able to communicate your value online is one of the best skills that you can have when it comes to marketing your business online.

Your ability to market well is going to future-proof your income.

Here are three different things that you can do to improve your ability to communicate your value online.

The first thing I recommend is that you put time into upskilling your ability to automate your processes and systems. When you automate your systems and you have clear processes and a clear way of doing things that are repeatable, it helps you avoid having this clunky, manual old-school business.

I remember back in the day when I first became a personal trainer in 2003. I didn’t have a website and Facebook was still in its early stages.

I had to go out there and talk to people, which was great because it really helped me learn how to attract clients and get good at communication and really listening to people and understand their needs, their wants, their desires, their fears.

That ability to go out there and talk to people is incredibly powerful. That really set me up. But when the online world started to explode, I realised I was running a really old-school kind of business and I needed to learn these new automation skills.

For years, I used to book people in through sending text messages and we’d go back and forth and that would take time. I would spend time creating brochures, I would go down to my local warehouse stationery – the equivalent of office works in Australia and I would print out brochures and I would hand them out at the gym and all these other old school methods.

I didn’t understand the power of creating things like an online calendar link. Now when people book in with me, there’s none of that back and forth. They just click on a link; they book a time that suits them. I get an email, it goes straight into my calendar on my phone, and I just turn up to the appointment.

They automatically download a questionnaire all of which is automated. When people come to my website, they can download a freebie, they can go into my email system, I’m not running around because everything is streamlined.

Automating your business is one skill that I recommend that you really invest time, money and energy learning.

The next skill is the ability to attract attention online. It’s the ability to speak directly to your ideal client and speak to their dreams, their desires, their fears, and their frustrations.

That is what attracts attention. People do all sorts of crazy things online these days to try and attract attention. You don’t need to do crazy things. You need to show up, be real, be genuine, and solve people’s problems and actually help them and show them how much you can help them by actually helping them.

What a concept! I call it R.I.A- Results In Advance. If you give them a result in advance, they’re going to attribute that success to you and they’re going to want more.

Instead of just teasing them with a few little secrets, but don’t actually tell them how – show up and give great stuff for free. Don’t just hold it back for your paid stuff.

How are people going to know if you save all of your good stuff for your paid programs? Attract attention by consistently showing up with valuable content speaking directly to your ideal client’s main problems, not just vague, fluffy stuff.

I see all sorts of vague, generalized rehashed, repurposed content out there. That’s what everyone is doing and saying. Be creative, spend time on your own so you can really have those creative downloads and uploads about stuff that’s really helpful and unique.

The only way to be unique is to be yourself. That is the only way. So yes, model off other people, stand on the shoulders of giants. It’s essential but remember, the only way that you’re going to attract attention is by being fully unique and being yourself.

The next one is to clearly communicate your personal brand; your personal brand is important! because people attribute it to you.

I heard Richard Branson speak recently. When he was asked by the interviewer, Lisa, how to stand out in the marketplace. He talked so much about branding and how virgin created such a culture of fun, of partying, of being different, being unique, of pushing the boundaries, that is the personal brand that he created and the company culture of Virgin.

What is your brand? If you were to describe your brand with three adjectives what would they be?

For some of you, it might be you want to be quirky, you might want to be very reserved, you might want to be thought-provoking, or, you might want to push the boundaries a little bit.

What’s your personal style? Maybe you want to come across as exuberant or you might want to come across really professionally polished.

Have a think about the three adjectives to describe your brand and think about how you can really infuse your message in the marketplace with your personal brand. Whether that is fun and playful, or you use emojis, or you use certain brand colours to reflect that.

Always talk about your vision, your mission, your culture, always be communicating that online in the marketplace. That’s skill number one is to communicate your value online. That’s a skill you need to have to attract coaching clients because obviously, people are searching for you online.

People are looking at your Facebook business page, they’re googling you, they’re looking at your website, they’re looking at the way you communicate to get a feel for you. And remember, you’ve got to speak directly to your ideal client, because they’re trying to find you.

If you’re trying to be everything to everyone, you will not be able to find your ideal client, your ideal client won’t be able to find you, because you’re not speaking their language.

2. Community Your Value One to One

How good are you at communicating your value in a one on one conversation?

There are some really important skills that we need to make offers one on one to people and have them saying yes. If you don’t have the ability to sell your product or service, then you’re not going to have any clients.

I think people forget that having clients only comes on the other side of a sales conversation. They say to me things like – “I’m no good at sales, I don’t like sales, I don’t want to be pushy, I don’t want to sell, I just want people to buy my stuff “

They’re not going to buy your stuff unless you have an ability to sell well, to sell elegantly and, and in a way that doesn’t feel pushy or in a way that feels enjoyable for both of you.

It’s a really delightful conversation. it’s enjoyable because you’re really trying to see if you’re a match, you’re not trying to push, you’re not trying to convince them or change their mind.

I love the subject of influence, but I’m never trying to change someone’s mind. I’m trying to find out if we’re a match, and I’m trying to influence any limiting beliefs that they have that’s going to stop them from taking action towards improving their life. That is it.

If I’m trying to twist their arm or use this tricky tactic in my sales conversation, that’s not going to work out. They’re probably not the right person, so I’m going to get frustrated, they’re not going to enjoy the experience. That’s not a good day for anyone.

But if you have the ability to help someone feel really safe and comfortable through your language, through what you say, the words that come out of your mouth through your tonality, and for your body language, then people will put their guard down and you’ll actually get to the truth because sales conversations need to get to the truth.

They need to feel really comfortable and safe with you and trust you to be able to open up and actually tell you the real reason because a lot of people will tell you a false reason. For example, “I need to check with my partner, I need to think about it I need to check my bank account.”

Those aren’t the real reason. If you have an ability to build a deep connection with someone, for them to really be able to open up with you, you can just have a really great honest conversation.

That is a skill we don’t come out of the womb knowing how to do that. That takes a lot of practice, which means you have to have a lot of one on one conversations with the view to make them an offer.

Whether that’s a paid off or whether it’s something for free, the better you get at one on one conversation, the better the offer.

How often are you getting on one on one conversations on the phone? or are you on a zoom call or in-person with the view to actually help them and offer them something? That is a really important skill to develop.

Don’t be afraid of unsubscribes I love unsubscribes. Unsubscribes means that I don’t have to pay as much on my CRM.  It means that you’re getting a really concentrated list.

I would rather have 1000 people who really want to hear from me, than 50,000 people that barely open my emails and don’t want to hear from me.

It’s better to have people that actually really do connect with you and like you and trust you. unsubscribes are great, it just means that you’re getting closer and closer to your select group of people.

Remember to have a successful coaching business, you don’t need thousands of people. You’ve only got so much time and if you’re going to do one on one coaching you might only need 20 people. You’ve got to be really selective with those people and not just take on anyone.

I’m very selective with who I work with one on one because it’s your time and it’s your energy, and your time is your most precious asset. You don’t want to give that away for just anyone.

How good are you at those skills when you’re talking to someone one on one?

You might want to rate yourself on a scale of one to 10.

  • How good are you at getting someone to agree with you?
  • How good are you at getting someone to feel relaxed and safe with you?
  • How good are you at getting someone to find a common interest and to laugh and smile with you genuinely?

Be honest with yourself and give yourself a real rating.

The ability to ask powerful questions is a skill that we all need to have in communication in general to build great relationships, whether that’s in our personal life or professional life, you’ll know this if people regularly say to you “that’s a great question.”

Your ability to draw information out of people and see if they’re enjoying the conversation can really help you adapt and respond to make sure they look like they’re really enjoying the conversation.

Your ability to help them imagine the future with you, and without you. That is one of the best sales skills you’ll ever develop your ability to help them imagine what is possible, what their life is like, in one year, three years, five years, with you coaching them after they’ve done your program. And without.

If nothing changes, what would their life be like in 12 months’ time, 5 years’ time and in 10 years’ time? Professionals ask these questions, amateurs skip over them because they feel maybe it’s a bit awkward and yes, they can be a little bit awkward to ask at first. But if you’re willing to do the hard things, that’s how you separate yourself from your competitors.

The next skill is the ability to overcome people’s limiting beliefs. I’m not talking about genuine things that people have, I’m talking about if they have limiting beliefs that are holding them back from taking action to improve their life.

Your ability to be able to keep talking to them, and not just go okay, no worries, have a think about it and just exit the conversation, and be brave enough to say is that the real reason to me?

How is that affecting you and how would that cost you if you hold on to that belief? Is this normally what happens when you’re about to make a significant buying decision, and just really be real about it.

I recently was selling to a lady a $23,000 package, and she said, I’m just freaking out right now. I’ve invested so much money and I just don’t have the money.

And I just listened, and I barely said a word. I just noted and just let her feel good. I didn’t rush it. When you’re making a significant buying decision, remember that person is in turmoil on the inside, they’re battling.

They’ve got this pre-programmed to hold on to their money and this fear of change happening. Don’t rush them, take the time with them. If you need to have another conversation with them, have another conversation, especially if the stakes are higher.

If you’re offering a premium product, don’t be afraid to book another half an hour session with them, help them unpack it, help them come to the best decision, even if it’s not to buy your offer.

Help them to at least solve their problem in some way, recommend something else if you feel you’re not a match for them. Don’t just go no worries and exit because you’ve got that fear of rejection.

An important skill in sales is your ability to be brave enough. To ask for the sale. A lot of people have lots of conversations, but they don’t close, they don’t finish. So, practice in the mirror 100 times- how would you like to pay for that? would you like to pay upfront or a payment plan?

How would you like to sort that out? How would you like to move forward?  Would you like to get that set up on direct debit? Or would you like to go on my saver plan? Practice all those combinations of asking for the sale.

Don’t be afraid because if you can’t get money into your bank account from your clients, you will be stuck in a job you don’t love for the rest of your life, and if you want to be a coach, you have to be good at sales.

3. Communicate Your Value in a Room

Number three is your ability to communicate your value in a room. Communicate your value to a group of people. This is the game-changer for most coaches.

If you’re a coach you want the doors to your coaching business to fly open, you want people paying you what you’re worth. So, get on a platform. I don’t know why more people don’t do it.

Well, I do know, because they’ve got fear, fear of rejection, fear of not belonging, fear what if people don’t come, fear of not knowing how to fill their rooms and fear of stage fright. They’re all valid fears.

I realised when I was sitting in a convention in the UK at the time, and I was watching this guy on stage and he was wearing a beautiful suit. He started talking about the one to one model versus the one too many.

I had been a personal trainer for eight years at the time, and I just did not want to overcome my fear of getting out behind my safe, comfortable one to one model, and stand up in front of a group.

But I realised at that moment, I am not going to have the impact that I want in the world. I am not going to achieve my goal of reaching a lot of people and making a huge difference in the world If I don’t overcome this fear of public speaking.

I decided on that day that I’m going to learn how to speak. I’m going to learn how to stand in front of a group. I’m going to learn how to craft my message, tell stories and make an offer from the stage. I used to think that I would just get someone else to do my selling for me.

If you want to really grow your coaching business, presenting is your golden ticket. It’s the way that I get almost all of my client clients, I get about 95% of my clients through events.

There are a few skills that sit under presenting.

Number one is the ability to craft a message. To be able to really organize your knowledge into a system, into a process that’s very clear and step by step for people and shows them exactly how to get from where they are to where they want to be.

Organise that process, and the ability to tell stories, and to be able to tell stories that involve making decisions and taking action, and the ability to effectively plant seeds all throughout your talks.

Continue to water those seeds throughout your talk to help people overcome all the limiting beliefs that are stopping them from taking action.

You also need to develop stage skills. You can learn about body language, how to use gestures facial expressions, how to use the space, how to anchor a room, you can learn how to use a timeline in the room, how to use technology- PowerPoints, lights, microphone, all those presenting skills that sit under their ability to communicate your value in your ability to attract your avatar.

Your ideal client, your audience, and the ability to get them into the room is a key skill when it comes to growing your coaching business. Then there’s the ability to inspire them to take action.

You’re not just talking for talking sake, you’re not just giving them information and content, which is what a lot of people do. They just show up and throw up. They just put all their content out to people. And people go cool, thank you.

They then go home, and they’ve got a head full of information and not a lot has changed. We need to get good at the ability to inspire people to take action.

So never ever write a talk, never deliver a video, a webinar, a workshop, a two-hour meetup, anything without thinking that goal is for someone to take action. That is the goal of the talk and you need to decide your action before you build out your talk.

I built out a talk and deliver it at my gym. And I just shared content. But then I learned that the whole purpose of the talk is to get them to take action. The whole talk is thinking how can I get them to take that action at the end of the talk? That’s the key.

Everything that you do when you’re talking to a group, like right now on video, I’m talking to a group. My goal is for you to take action and not just listen to this and go, that’s interesting, that’s nice information. But you get a return on your investment of time by listening to this and watching this video.

When you’re working on the ability to get someone to take action, you’ve really got to understand influence.

How often are you reading books and listening to talks on influence because that is in my opinion, the number one skill that you need to attract clients as a Coach. Your ability to influence.

But it sits in these modules of communicating your value online, communicating your value one on one, and communicating your value in a room. So really, what it comes down to is marketing, sales and presenting those are the three key skills.

I recommend that you just forget everything else and you focus on those three skills. The umbrella over those three skills is influence.

Want to know how to attract and sign up more clients in 2020? 

My next 1-day client attraction workshop is happening on Saturday, 1st February 2020.

 

? In This One Powerful Day You Will Learn:

? The BEST methods to connect instantly with your audience and INFLUENCE them to your ideas

? How to become a master influencer and build authentic trust and a powerful connection with your ideal clients

? How to use neuro-marketing to influence the SUBCONSCIOUS mind in your written and spoken content

? The MOST effective way to design your marketing plan so that you nail your message, and attract the right clients

? The BIGGEST mistakes Coaches make in their marketing and how to avoid them

? A proven, effective marketing plan that you can tailor to your business

If you want to grow a profitable coaching business, this workshop is a must.

2020 is the year to finally let go of what’s holding you back and create the life you dream of!

➡ Full Details Here 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Amplify Your Influence, Business coach, Business growth, Client Attraction, Coach, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, Influence

December 2, 2019 by katmillar Leave a Comment

The #1 Reason you Self-Sabotage and 3 Ways to Change It

 

If you’re not attracting the clients that you want, making the money you want or you’re making money and you’re spending it…

…or you’re stuck in this “it’s too hard, it’s too overwhelming” thinking…

you’re probably self-sabotaging.

Self-sabotage is a killer of your business dreams.

How do you know if you’re sabotaging in your business?

You will think that something’s wrong with you if you’re not getting the results you want. And you’ll probably blame yourself rather than going. “Okay, There’s something deeper at play here”.

I see this all the time.

It’s so important to get this right to make sure that you’re not keeping yourself stuck and small.

Where are you sabotaging in your business? And in your life? Where are you not showing up? Where are you deleting opportunities?

What happens with our unconscious minds when we self-sabotage is we delete opportunity that’s all around us.

We’ve got money all around us. We’ve got resources all around us. We’ve got potential clients all around us, we’ve got potential opportunities for joint ventures for speaking gigs, for ways to get our content out into the world.

If we haven’t sorted out our mindset, if we haven’t really worked on that mindset, we will sabotage it.

The reason we do this, the number one reason that we self-sabotage is that we’ve taken on so much external conditioning and programming.

The external programming comes from our parents, teachers, peers, TV, authorities – anyone who has had a voice in our lives.

Everything that we’ve been taught, has become part of our belief system. Then we relive the past, instead of being in the present moment.

The present moment is where we are creative. The present moment is where we can solve problems, where we can see clearly, where we have clarity, where we can come up with solutions to all our biggest problems.

It’s like when you’re stressed and you’re in that fight or flight mode and you’re overwhelmed and there’s so much going on and you’re so busy and you’re distracted.

You find yourself distracted and scrolling social media and maybe getting caught up on the internet and going down all these rabbit holes, opening all these tabs on your computer.

If your environment is messy if your mind feels cluttered, all of these are red flags, and these are signals that you are self-sabotaging. Those are the red flags that are sabotaging you.

You are really cluttered, you’re distracting yourself, you’re always busy rather than working on your stuff.

We do this because of these belief systems that have formed.

75% of our beliefs are formed from the age of zero to seven. Our little minds as children form beliefs, and we just live out of them. That programming, that unconscious programming that happens from parents, from teachers, from the school system, from TV, from the radio that conditioning, carries out into adulthood until we change the program.

It’s almost like changing the channel on a TV. And we can’t do this until we have an awareness of it. The way we have awareness of it is if we look at our life and we determine that we haven’t got the result we want.

Maybe you set a goal, you haven’t achieved it. Maybe you’ve had a dream and you haven’t got it yet. You’re sabotaging. you’re probably playing out belief systems that you’ve had for a very long time.

We don’t need to go and sit in years of therapy. There are other ways to do it much faster.

That’s what I’m going to give you in this article and video – ways we can stop this self-sabotage pattern.

You probably find that it’s not this one-off behaviour that you do. You’ll probably find that it’s a pattern. It’s a recurring pattern with a theme that you keep bumping up against.

As we come towards the New Year, you probably bump up against the same beliefs. You look at your goals and you think, oh my gosh, I’ve had that on my goals list for years!

Why can’t I achieve that goal? Or I’ve been trying to build this business for so long. Why isn’t it happening? Something’s wrong with me or something is wrong with other people or something’s wrong with the economy, and another red flag we go into is “blame”.

We blame situations, we blame circumstances, we blame people, and we blame ourselves.

Blame is not a creator stance. For us to build a business so for us to achieve any goal that we want in life, we must be in the creative position, not the victim position.

When we’re blaming, when we’re making excuses, when we’re not committed…

When we’re going “I don’t have the money” or “I don’t have the time”, “it’s so hard”, “I’m not good at technology”, “there are so many coaches here”

All that language reveals our mindset.

Pay attention to your language if you hear blame, if you hear excuses, or if you hear denial.

I call it going to B.ED – Blame, Excuses, Denial.

If you hear yourself making those mistakes. If there’s sabotage going on. It’s that programming from your past.

What do we do about it?

1. Set Goals that are Outside of your Current Comfort Level

This is going against what most people say. Usually, they say; set goals that are very realistic, that are very doable. And I agree to a point.

But if you want to reveal what’s going on inside your mindset, inside your unconscious mind, then you set these goals that are outside of your comfort zone.

They don’t need to be miles out. I’m not saying, if you’ve never made any money in your business, you set a goal. I’m going to make a million next year.

What I’m talking about is something that’s just slightly out of your comfort zone and your comfort level. That’s something you’ve never done before.

Your belief systems will reveal themselves. They all come to the surface.

I’ve seen this happen over and repeatedly. When you set a goal and you commit to it. You say; “this is what I’m doing, and you tell people about it.” Then the sabotage patterns reveal themselves and all the wounds come to the surface.

The unresolved wounds, the wounded self, the blame the victim, all that stuff starts to come to the surface.

You’ll notice it through your language and through your thoughts.

But the thing is, a lot of people that don’t have the entrepreneurial mindset, they’re stuck in that nine to five mentality and they bring the nine to five mentality into entrepreneurship.

They’re always going to struggle. Because of the nine to five mindsets of “not my problem.”

It’s my manager’s – or five o’clock finishes and they think “I don’t need to work anymore”. Whereas entrepreneurs work until they get the result. That’s what you’ve got to do. You’ve got to get out of your comfort level. That way you can see what your wounds are. You can start facing them.

Then you can start overcoming them and you can start working on your behaviour, your psychology, your language and making sure it’s all pushing that level of excellence to become the best version of yourself.

It’s not until you set that goal to raise your standards and be the best version of yourself that you realize the gap.

Most people aren’t aware of the gap because they’re not setting the goal. They stay here, they don’t want to set the goal because setting the goal requires your wounds to come to the surface.

A lot of people don’t want to face their wounds, it’s too painful. They don’t want to say I’ve held on to these stupid old beliefs…

“my mom and dad never had money so I’ll never have money” or “if I become successful people won’t like me”, “if I become successful I’ll lose my friends”, or “If I work hard, I’ll have no freedom” or “I’ll burnout”

These beliefs that people have that are keeping them stuck, they avoid setting goals because they don’t want the gap. They don’t want to feel the tension of where they are and where they want to be.

Most people just stay at that level and then just keep sabotaging. It becomes this horrible pattern that becomes very uncomfortable. People think they’re staying in a comfort zone, but, it becomes very uncomfortable very fast.

That’s number one, you need to set goals that are outside of your current level. Let the wounds reveal themselves and you start facing them one by one. The wound will come up not good enough, not smart enough, not capable enough.

What if I booked a venue for an event and no one comes, or one person comes? What if I do a Facebook Live and I stuff it up and I start stumbling over my words.

People get stuck in the past when they are focusing on things that have happened in the past….

…They get stuck in guilt and shame or they get stuck in the future anxiety, thinking of the worst-case scenario.

None of that’s helpful. We need to get back to the present time because that’s where we can create solutions.

2. Take Action Despite the Fear

One of the best books I’ve ever read was ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers. I read it about 20 years ago and something just switched in me.

On Saturday at Unleash your Freedom when was I asking; what’s the biggest thing that you need to take away?

The most common answer was “I just got to do it even though I feel scared”

We’re all scared. Let’s normalise it. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about the fact that no one has it all together.

No one is perfect. No one is going to be perfect on social media. They’re not showing their full self, their full authentic self. They’re just showing a side to themselves and that’s okay.

There are lots going on behind the scenes. Imperfection. that’s part of being human. We are imperfect… and it’s imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect.

You’ve got to take fast action, your brain gives you five seconds from inspired thought to action, you have five seconds before your brain shuts it down, and it pulls the handbrake up.

It says, no, we’re not doing that. Because you’ll start going into analysis by paralysis.

For example, I’ve never done a perfect Facebook Live. I always get something wrong. My intern transcribes these Facebook Lives, and I look at it, and I go, “Wow, I say a lot of fluff sometimes”. It doesn’t matter.

I just keep showing up. Because I know you will catch it and you will act on it and you will apply it.

Even though I stumble over my words, I get things wrong, I say the word, “you know” or “um”, who cares! it doesn’t matter.

You don’t have to prove yourself that you’re good enough by trying to wait till you’ve got a perfectly polished thing to say just show up.

For example, I didn’t plan this one at all. I just wrote three points, I wrote it at five minutes to eight, and just hit, Go Live.

That’s what you’ve got to do. You’ve got to take fast action despite the fear.

3. Focus on your Mission and Not on You

You’ve got to focus on your mission because your mission is bigger than you. Your mission is about other people.

When you’re concerned about all the little details and all the little things that you want to get right. You’re self-focused.

Focus on your mission, serving people, showing up, willing to be brave, being vulnerable, having courage, knowing that it’s bigger than you.

You’ve been entrusted with your gifts, your talents, and if you don’t do it, no one else will.

No one can fulfill your unique mission and purpose, I truly believe with my heart of hearts, that we all have a mission on this planet.

For some of us, we have a mission to serve a certain type of people and other people have a desire to serve that same group of people.

But no one can do it the way you do. You’ve been gifted with certain gifts and talents with certain mastery with certain levels of wisdom and discernment around that topic. Experience skills, knowledge, all of it in unique combination is what’s needed.

When you keep focusing on yourself, when you keep thinking “what will people think” or if I put up a webinar and people don’t like or If I do a Facebook Live, I don’t know what to say.

That’s self-focus and to be blunt, that’s quite selfish. The world needs you to turn up in your authenticity. Regardless of how you look or how you sound.

So many people say to me “I won’t do it because I don’t like the sound of my voice.”

Who is that focusing on? It’s focusing on you not on your mission, not on why you’re here.

When I’m on stage, sometimes realise what’s coming out of me.

It’s an out-of-body experience where the downloads are coming, the uploads are coming. It’s almost like it’s not even anything to do with me. I’m just a vessel and that’s what we need to be as business owners.

We need to focus on the mission, do you have a mission in your business? Have you set your vision, set your mission? And are you working on your clear goals and actions for it?

Because if not, you’re just going to sabotage you’re going to keep learning, going to more seminars, reading more books, and no one’s getting helped.

You need to squeeze the sponge, you’ve absorbed enough. You don’t need to learn more about your topic. You need to learn more about your mindset and business.

That’s my recommendation for you:

Number One: Tick goals outside of your comfort level. Let the wounds reveal themselves, move from wounded self to best version.

Number Two: You need to take action despite fear.

Number Three: You need to focus on your mission, not on yourself.

Get on mission because you’re awesome. You’ve been fully equipped for everything you need to fulfill it.

All the resources you need around you, the money, the clients and the people that can help you are around you.

You just need to delete that information when you get focused on yourself.

Start opening and expanding and act despite the fear you’ve been avoiding that keeps coming back into your mind.

That’s your key to overcoming self-sabotage.

Because remember, that 75% of beliefs that have formed from zero to seven is because of our conditioning.

If we don’t override that conditioning, that programming with new programming. We’ll just keep playing out those same, the same patterns.

P.S. Do you want to know the easiest way to get coaching clients, EVEN IF you’re just starting out as a Coach?

Do you want to know, with certainty, how to create a profitable business?

Check out our upcoming workshop How To Build a Profitable Coaching Business.

You’ll discover:

* The crucial entrepreneurial mindset and how to use it to attract clients

* Proven marketing strategies that you can apply straight away in your business to start making more money

* Action sessions where you GET IT DONE with personalised feedback, so you are super productive

* Masterminding brainstorming session (this is GOLD!) – get input from other Coaches on your where you’re stuck

* Clarity, confidence and certainty so you can go out and grow a profitable coaching business, fast

* What’s working now and what to stop wasting your time on

Only 10 spaces available and most have already been filled.

It’s our last workshop for 2019!

Learn more here

 

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Amplify Your Influence, Business, Business coach, Business growth, Coaching, Entrepreneurial mindset, Entrepreneurs, Entrepreneurship, Mindset, Motivation, Sabotage, Self-sabotage

November 13, 2019 by katmillar Leave a Comment

3 Tips For Growing An Entrepreneurial Mindset

 

Would you like to know how successful entrepreneurs think?

In this video and article, I share with you three ways to grow an entrepreneurial mindset. 

You might be wondering, what is an entrepreneurial mindset?

If you Google it you get all sorts of things that people say are an entrepreneurial mindset.

If you compare it with the 9-5 mindset, you’ll see that there are some crossovers. 

Being a high performer, working hard, having excellence in your job, being great at what you do. These are some of the crossovers between whether you’re working for someone else or you’re working for yourself. 

But there are some unique things that entrepreneurs have in their mindset if they’re going to be successful. 

When I’ve been asking this question to people, I ask them – what do you think is the actual mindset that’s different?

Based on my research and my own observations, I’ve come up with the 3 that I think are the most important.

1. Be Committed

If you want to grow an entrepreneurial mindset, you must be committed.

Committment covers a lot – resilience, the ability to figure things out the ability to go through, failure – the ability to just keep going and not give up…

If you’re committed to figuring things out, no matter what it takes – you’re going to figure it out, then that means that you’re going to have a mindset of growth, right? 

You go all-in on it, rather than just dipping your toe in the water and saying “I’m just going to stay safe. But if it doesn’t work out, then I’ll go back to another job”. 

If you’re committed to being the identity of an entrepreneur, then it’s amazing how the resources flow to you – how the people flow to you how the money flows to you.

When you’re committed, you say “This is what I’m doing. This is who I am. And no matter what it takes, I’ll figure it out:. 

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the entrepreneurial mindset and watching a lot of videos of people talking and TED talks about the success entrepreneurial mindset, and people are saying – it’s not that I’m any smarter, it’s not that I’ve got a super personality. 

Which is good news!

It’s an even, equal playing field when it comes to entrepreneurship.

In fact, a lot of entrepreneurs, say that they don’t feel smart and that they haven’t got a traditional education or had great marks at school or anything like that. Any of us can choose to be an entrepreneur because everything can be learned. 

With technology the way it is, with courses, with the amount of information that we have access to, any of us can choose this, as a venture or a vocation is something that we get paid for. But we’ve got to be committed, we’ve got to be committed to no matter what happens because it is going to be tough.

Be committed to what you want. Be committed to that vision that you have, of your future best self, have your dream life, of your vision. 

When you know yourself when you know your vision, your goals, when you have a plan, and you’re working towards it every day and you’re committed to it.

It doesn’t matter how you feel. It doesn’t matter whether you wake up in the morning and you say, I kind of can’t be bothered today. 

Because you’re committed, you’re all in and you’re saying, I’m going to set deadlines and I’m going to stick to them because I don’t have a boss telling me what to do.

When you’re the entrepreneur, you are the leader, you’re the CEO. And you’re also the person doing the grunt work until you have a team. You must come from that mindset of I have to show up no matter what, I must be committed. 

There’s some research that shows that when we set a deadline It doubles the likelihood that we’re going to achieve it if we have a deadline.

If we set a goal that’s specific and not ambiguous like…

I’m going to make 10 phone calls every single day for a month. That’s a clear goal.

Or I’m going to get five clients by the end of this month.

Or I’m going to run three meetup events for webinars in this quarter.

Those goals that are very specific they have a deadline.

With a deadline, you double the likelihood of achieving it than saying my goal is to have a great business.

Ambiguous goals don’t work. Goals without deadlines don’t work.

2. Be Curious

Number two is to be curious.

When you’re curious, you will ask yourself a lot of questions. You will also ask other people a lot of questions.

I get quite surprised sometimes when I ask people questions, and they don’t know the answer to it, and I know that they haven’t been asking themselves that question. 

For example, I’ll ask someone to tell me about their dreams. Often people fumble over the answer and they don’t really have their dreams articulated or they don’t have any goals.

I’ve always set goals and it’s always really helped me; it doesn’t mean I achieved them all. But the pursuit of a goal is what makes you stronger.

When I was working nine to five it was; you learn your job, you get good at it. And then you just rinse and repeat every day. 

I wasn’t having to bring creativity or innovation or growth to it. I was having to just turn up, do my job and go home. And for me, that was hard. Because I’m a very curious person. I like learning why I like figuring out how to do things better.

I was working for this insurance company, and we would have to post people a claims form. I remember saying to my manager at the time, why don’t we scan it in? Or why don’t we go paperless?

And she was very opposed to the idea – she said no, this is the way we’ve always done it. This is the way we do it.

I wasn’t trying to rock the boat; I was trying to bring in some new ideas and I was curious about how to do things better. But that kind of thing got shut down. It was more this industrial mindset of just churn out the factory linework and just get it done. 

When you’re an entrepreneur, you can get curious – you think, how can I do things better? How can I plan better? How can I be this person, is this best version of myself?

Entrepreneurs constantly think, who’s the best version of myself that I’m working towards, and they start living that out on a daily basis.

For example, let’s say you want to be a great speaker.

Instead of saying, I’m going to do that in three years, you start turning up on a smaller scale, you start doing Facebook Lives now, you start getting in front of groups of people and practising and being that identity of a speaker in order to live that best future self now.

Rather than thinking – I’ve got this goal I want to achieve in the future, start living it now. Start acting as if you’re that now, because you’re not going to get better until you show up as that person and practice and get better.

Successful entrepreneurs, they don’t mind showing up and getting it wrong. They are not attached to perfectionism.

A friend recently told me; perfectionism is fear in high heels. It’s just doubt and fear and keeping us small and keeping us stuck. 

When you’re curious, you think, what’s an even bigger goal?

What’s an even cooler thing that I can aim towards instead of just staying stuck at that status quo?

Being curious is thinking – how can I update my skills? How can I get more knowledge? It’s being hungry to learn; it’s placing yourself in learning environments all the time.

If you have curiosity naturally, it’s an asset as an entrepreneur. If you don’t have it naturally, how can you start incorporating it into your life is just start asking yourself more questions – more quality questions and write them.

Questions like – How can I make this week better than last week? How can I make this event the best event that I’ve ever run? How can I be the best version of myself for people today? How can I show up differently?

Always be curious and ask questions and do your research.

3. Be Outstanding

Number three is to be outstanding.

When I first heard this concept of being outstanding, Tony Robbins was talking about it and when I was at his “Unleash the Power Within” event.

I thought that it was almost like better than excellence. I researched the word outstanding. The definition of it, it talks about being the best, you’re being almost a level above great, because good enough, is not good enough anymore with a competitive marketplace we have now.

We can’t just be great, and we can’t just be excellent. We’ve got to be outstanding.

When I heard that I thought, wow, I’m already working hard. I’m already trying to push excellence in working on improving. What else do I need to do?

But I realised it wasn’t about necessarily going up, but it was more going lateral.

How can I go laterally, to be different to stand out? If you’re not willing to stand out, which has an element of risk and has an element of fear. If you’re not willing to do that, you’re not going to make it as an entrepreneur.

Outstanding means you show up and you’d be visible consistently. Even if it’s not going to be perfect. Because you will never do a perfect Facebook Live video, I’ve never done one.

You’ll never do a perfect workshop; you’ll never do a perfect speech. It’s never finished. You never arrive. If you’re creative, if you are high-achiever, you never arrive.

But you can just keep showing up and standing out and be willing to have a voice, which is not always easy because you’re going to get judged. You’re going to get some doubters some haters.

The most successful people have the most people not liking them. If you see anyone that’s doing well, you’re going to see people that don’t like what they’re doing.

But if you want to be successful, you’ve got to be willing to be outstanding to stand out. And that means being truly authentically you.

You don’t have to go and change. You don’t have to go and do crazy stuff. You don’t have to do anything crazy. You just must just be yourself. Because if you’re being yourself, you’re being outstanding, but I mean truly being you.

That means showing up in your full authenticity, which can be tough. It’s vulnerable, especially in this world where we can Photoshop everything, where we can edit everything, to be willing to stand out by just being who you are.

It is one of the bravest things that you’ll ever do.

There was a study done of over 20,000 people who are extremely high performance. Through this study, they discovered that the most outstanding people are the ones who really understand who they are and perform out of their own authenticity.

A lot of people are trying to change themselves to be someone that they’re not.

You just must turn up. Be the best version of yourself. Meaning, you’re always curious, you’re always pushing the boundaries.

You’re committed. You’re always learning, you’re always trying your best.

And you’re willing to just keep showing up consistently.

Not easy, but it’s doable, and worth it.


Success Secrets of Successful Female Entrepreneurs

On Thursday, I’m running an event in the city called ‘Success Secrets of Successful Female Entrepreneurs’.

If you haven’t registered, it’s nearly full. Make sure that you register your space because we’re just about full up. 

Learn More about Secrets Of Successful Female Entrepreneurs

How to Create Content that Connects

I also have a workshop on Saturday called How to Create Content that Connects. It’s all about how to write copy for your business and how to create consistent quality content through your blog, articles, workshops, webinars, and on video. 

Learn More about How To Create Content That Connects

I’d love to see you at one of the live events soon!

And remember – be curious, be committed and be outstanding.

Kat xo

 

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Amplify Your Influence, Business, Business coach, Business growth, Business workshop, Client Attraction, Coaching, Content, Content That Connects, Copywriting, Entrepreneurship, Influence, marketing, Mindset, Motivation, Workshop

November 6, 2019 by katmillar Leave a Comment

Wondering what your passion and purpose in life is?

Since the dawn of time, human beings have asked themselves “What’s my purpose?”

If you want to be fulfilled, happy and content, finding your passion and purpose is one of the best places to explore.

When you know your purpose, you live a more meaningful life and feel a deep sense of fulfillment.

For some people, their purpose and passion in life are obvious. They have clear talents and develop them into skills they can use as their job or business.

For other people, like myself, the road is not so clear.

I’ve definitely been on both sides of knowing what I should do with my life.

Many of us enjoy a bunch of random, seemingly unrelated things.

When I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life, I looked at the things I loved.

Writing, going to conferences, walks in nature, weight training, listening to books, playing the drums, latin dancing, sharing to groups, deep conversations, travelling…

I found it so confusing to try and figure out what things I should attempt to turn into a career and what things should be left as hobbies.

What it came down to was that I believed the lie that we can’t make money from the things that we love.

It’s a lie that seems to be so insidiously entrenched in our culture and it’s simply not true.

Many, many people make money doing what they love. They chose to refuse the notion that we must endure work in order to get money to pay for our hobbies and lifestyle.

I felt suffocated working in stale offices under fluorescent lights, amongst the politics, gossip and having to ask permission to take time off.

It took me a while to figure out that being a business owner was the best path for me. That my purpose was about helping others to find freedom through entrepreneurship.

It enabled me to do multiple things and combine multiple skills with my knowledge, experience and most importantly my passion to help people.

But after realising it, I still had to give myself permission to ‘go against the grain’ at the time.

I needed to give myself permission to stop asking “Who am I to do that?” and start asking “Why not me?”

I needed to leave my ‘safe and stable’ job.

Something that helped me to figure out my purpose was asking myself these 3 questions:

  1. What makes me most happy and fulfilled?

  2. What difference do I want to make in the world?

  3. What do I feel wired for and called to do?

In my heart, I knew I wanted to speak and write. I wanted to train and coach. I wanted to be a thought leader. I wanted to help people reach their potential. I would do these things if nobody paid me to do them. They made me come alive.

I needed to explore, to ‘date’ some things until the clarity came.

Clarity is not static. It doesn’t come from sitting in our house over-analysing everything.

You can’t think your way into finding your purpose; you have to ‘do’ your way into it. The more we act, the more we get clarity.

Clarity comes when we’re moving and doing things.

True fulfillment comes from designing your own life.

Do you want more clarity on your purpose?

Here are 3 actions that will help you:

  1. Ask yourself regularly “How can I use what I’m passionate about to help others?” This will expand your mind to endless possibilities that will give your life richness and meaning. We’ll fall short if we only focus on ourselves.
  2. Actively look for opportunities to get to know ourselves and others better. Research. Watch videos and listen to podcasts. Read every book you can get your hands on that calls to you. Seek guidance from people who can help you find your purpose.
  3. Pay close attention to the people and opportunities that show up in your life. They are there to either teach you something or help you on your path.

Follow these three steps consistently. If you do, you will wake up one day and realise that your life is completely transformed.

You’ll feel fulfilled, happy, and content because you’ll be passionately living your purpose.

Do you feel on purpose? What helped you get there? Post in the comments, I’d love to hear 🙂

 

Want more like this?

Go here to receive weekly strategies to grow your business by attracting new clients straight to your email inbox

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Amplify Your Influence, Business, Business coach, Business growth, Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Meaningful, Passion, Purpose, Success

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