Kat Millar

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Handling Chaos Well

In the midst of the current world chaos, there is no better time than to talk about strategies for how to handle chaos well.

This week I’m taking a break from the normal business topics, to talk about mindset and how to manage your mind throughout the season that we’re in.

Not everyone knows this but I do a lot of mindset work with people and I’ve been studying the mind for the past two decades and I’m fascinated with the mind, our thoughts, psychology and the brain.

I spend a lot of time researching and contemplating the mind, this is an area that I’m passionate about. The reason I chose business is that I love working with entrepreneurs like yourself, who want to grow their business.

Mindset is key when developing our businesses. Often people bump up against a roadblock, a limiting belief, a negative emotion of fear that holds them back.

It’s not until we work on this area of mindset that we get unstuck, and start flowing and taking action again in our businesses.

So I want to share with you some ways to manage your mind throughout this chaotic time that we’re living through. All of us are feeling the effects of the Coronavirus. A lot of people are feeling fearful, anxious and worried.

If that’s you, I want to give you some ways to think that might be helpful for you, and some mindset tips that you can take away and implement immediately.

These are keys that you can also share with those you influence; your family, your employees, your neighbours and your community.

Understand What You Can Control – The TEAR Model

Firstly, we need to understand the realities of what we can control and what we can’t control.  I teach a model called the TEAR Model to a lot of my coaching clients.

The TEAR Model is a four-step model that shows that circumstances are not the thing that actually drives our feelings, our actions or our results.

T – Thoughts

E – Emotions

A – Actions

R – Results

Circumstances are neutral. The facts about the Coronavirus, the facts about what’s happening are neutral. They are a circumstance. They are the only things we can’t control. We can control the other 4 aspects which is our thoughts, emotions, actions, and results.

If you’re a coach, I recommend it’s so important at the moment to be coaching your clients in managing their thoughts, because we cannot necessarily control the circumstances and the events that are happening. Nor can we control the facts.

We’ve got to be careful with what we view as facts. Make sure that what we are believing is fact and not an assumption of someone around you.

Remember, we cannot control the circumstances, but we can control our thoughts, our emotions, our actions and our results.

It always starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts about a circumstance is going to lead to our emotions. Our emotions that come from those thoughts are going to lead to our actions. Our actions are going to lead to the results we produce.

An example of this is the circumstance with the supermarkets. People’s thoughts are leading them to the emotions of fear, panic, worry and stress. They think they are going to run out of food for their families.

Their thoughts are driving their emotions to overtake common sense and their actions are to panic buy. The result of this is no food or toilet paper left on the shelves.

Another person may walk into the same supermarket but have completely different thoughts, emotions, actions and ultimately results. They may see the empty shelves and think the shops will get restocked, they don’t worry because they know they are cared for.

These people walk in peace and joy, as they know everything will work out for them. You’ve got to separate the facts from the circumstance.

Watch what you put into your soul through your eyes. I call it the eyes gate. And watch what you listen to through your ears (your ears gate).

The media feed us a cocktail of fear. They show what’s happening and the panic and fear grow.  It’s important what you ‘feed’ your eyes and ears at the time. Be protective over them and that of your children (if you have them).

Our social media feeds are called a ‘feed’ for a reason. We’re getting fed constant fear and panic, and that part of our brain is actually getting addicted to it.

The more we are consuming the fear in our feeds, the less that we’re looking at all the beauty in the world. We are overlooking all the love, all the communities rallying together, all the support and all the wonderful things in the world.

3 Don’ts for Managing Chaotic Times

1) Don’t Look to Others to Decide How to Feel

It’s so important that you don’t look to others to decide how you should be feeling.

We need to step up and take leadership, and be great role models.

A lot of people are looking around at people’s eyes and looking at the news and looking at their social feeds to decide how to feel. If someone is panicking, it’s easy to feel like you’ve got to adjust how you feel.

You can almost feel a little bit bad that you’re feeling calm and happy. I feel very calm, and I almost feel tempted to go into guilt for feeling calm and happy!

Use your thoughts to decide how you want to feel.

What feelings do you WANT to feel and what thoughts

Step back and look at this – we are living in a unique moment in history. We are on this journey together as the humans. This is our journey right now and we get to choose how we decide to view it.

How do you want to be known as to how you handled 2020 and what’s going on in the world right now?

We get decide how this time will be remembered in our lives and in the lives of our children.

I choose thoughts that help me stay calm and created and resourceful.

I know that the calmer and happier I am, the more that I can help other people.

It’s important for me to stay calm and to do that, I have to choose the right thoughts.

I have to choose to trust, I have to choose to believe that whatever happens, we will handle it.

2) Don’t Feel Bad for Feeling any Feeling

Please don’t feel bad, guilty or shame for feeling whatever you’re feeling. Whether that’s feeling like you should probably be sad right now, because people are dying, but you don’t feel sad.

If you’re feeling happy and you’re getting on with your life, don’t feel guilt! If you are staying on purpose, and feeling that for you it’s important not getting distracted, that’s the best thing that you can do for the world right now.

Don’t feel bad if you feel scared or if you’ve had to cancel an event. If you’ve got elderly parents and you feel concerned for them. That’s okay.

It’s ok to allow yourself to feel the disappointment, feel concern or feel the hurt. Don’t try to buffer or numb feelings. It’s healthy to sit with your feelings for a while. But you don’t need to stay there.

Be conscious of how others are being impacted by these events and don’t minimise the experience of others. It’s so important though, that we don’t get sucked into depression, anxiety or fear in the midst of this situation.

The leaders that are successful are those that will stay calm. When you’re stressed, you don’t think clearly, you’re not intelligent or smart decisions. As emotion increases, intelligence often decreases.

In this time of uncertainty, it’s good to give your brain certainty.

So stick with routines that keep a level of certainty about your life, like going to the gym or doing workouts and making healthy food. Routines help keep certainty.

3) Don’t Give in to Urges That Don’t Serve You

Resist urges that make you want to drink alcohol, give up your healthy routine or make you want to just stay in bed and not focus on building your business because the world is at a standstill.

Choose things that will benefit you and your business. If it means not looking at the news, then choose not to read or listen to the news. If it’s not helping you, it’s not serving you.

I’m putting my energy into my business into coaching people, focussing around mindset and helping people with their emotions.

3 Do’s for Managing Chaotic Times

1) Focus on Thoughts That Make You Feel Better

Think about what’s going to make you feel better and feel calm. For me, I trust that whatever comes my way I can handle it. I trust that the authorities are doing the best that they can and I trust that I will be provided for.

I know that I have a great community. I know that I can learn from this. I take this as an opportunity to grow.

There’s no point suffering for no reason. There’s no point sitting in anxiety, when you have tools and resources, and people that can help you get out of it.

Sometimes I’ll just stop and sit on my chair and I’ll just write out positive, helpful happy thoughts. It’s not denying the facts. It’s not putting your head in the sand.

You’re looking at the facts and deciding what you want to think and feel about them.

2) Increase Positive Input and Decrease Exposure

How much time, are you spending on your Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn feed? How much negativity are you allowing into your eye and ear gates?

Double down on your positive input. Listen to positive podcasts, positive addresses on Facebook and spend positive time with your friends. Match the amount of negativity you are seeing and hearing, with the equivalent of positive input.

Coaching is one of the best things you can do at the moment, because coaching helps people let out their concerns. It’s like cleaning your house; you can clean out all the mess inside. Clean up your mind and have a listening ear.

Don’t be scared. You’re not going to run out of work. You have so many people that you can help at this time. Please don’t sit back and wait for people to come to you. Reach out and ask people how you can help.

Offer free coaching sessions and help people with managing their minds. As coaches, we help people manage their minds and focus on what they want.

3) Use This Time to Grow Stronger, Be Creative and Innovate

Put on a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset welcome challenges. They think, ‘How am I going to grow? How am I going to learn?’ They believe the world is going to get better.

We need a filter change. If we filter to see only the bad, we will only see the bad. We need to take precautions and we need to be safe.

We need to choose a positivity filter to view life at this time. Choosing a positive filter means you will see this time as an opportunity to grow. You may have to pivot and run those live events as webinars, but look for the opportunities within this time.

This is an opportunity to get stronger, to look at how you can innovate. Be creative. Join together and form stronger communities. Do your best to be part of the solution.

If you’re a business owner and you’re struggling during this time, I’d love to offer you a free coaching session*

‪If you need help or support for yourself personally or in business, you can book a free 30-minute coaching session here

*First-time sessions

Don’t suffer alone. We’re all in this together.

We the humans are amazing, resilient and resourceful.

We will get through this.

Take strong and take care,

Kat

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How to Identify Your Next Level of Entrepreneurial Courage

Courage is an important ingredient we need to have if we want to succeed and excel in business.

Courage is not about not feeling fear. Courage is facing our fears head-on and charging ahead despite the fear.

Being in business requires courage. We get pushed out of our comfort zone. We’ve no doubt already taken bold action and have been courageous. But we can sometimes settle and become complacent once we’ve overcome some hardships.

Today I want to challenge you to take a look at the next level of entrepreneurial courage that you need to take, in order to get to your next level in business.

Sometimes we avoid taking action because we think something is scary and looks almost impossible. But if we break things down into sizeable chunks, we can achieve whatever we want!

During my time working with entrepreneurs, I have identified seven stages of courage that entrepreneurs go through on their business-building journey.

This will help you determine where you are along your journey and what your next courage step is.

Stage Number 1 – Courage to Commit to your Goals

Stage Number One is having the courage to commit to your goals. When you set out a business plan, you need to set goals and have a vision. You need to know why you’re doing what you’re doing and exactly what you want to achieve by your actions.

It takes courage to share your goals with others because then you are really putting yourself out there to potentially be judged! This is a scary thought! Sharing your goals with others requires courage.

Stage Number 2 – Courage to Specify a Niche

Stage Number Two is having the courage to develop a niche. It takes courage to say, ‘I’m going to work with this group of people’ and potentially leave another sector of people out.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway is important when singling out your niche or micro-niche and sticking to it!

Marketing to your niche doesn’t mean you leave all people out, it means you are targeting primarily your ideal client. You are speaking directly to your niche targeted client. Take the courage to be a subject matter expert for your niche market.

Marketing is about attracting and repelling. Don’t be scared to repel people, as those you repel will not be your ideal client. Your ideal client will be attracted to you. Take the risk to micro-niche!

Stage Number 3 – Courage to Write Your Truth

Writing your truth is a big step in the courage stages. Writing your truth includes putting out a website, finding your buyers or clients on social media, writing your social media posts and writing blogs.

It takes courage to become visible. People will see you. People might judge you. And it’s a risk we all need to take. People procrastinate and create excuses like, ‘I’m not good at technology’ or ‘I’m not a good writer.’

It takes emotion to write. It takes courage to write your truth. Be courageous! The payoff is worth it!

Stage Number 4 – Courage to Go to Your Next Level

So you’ve done your website and blogs, but now it’s time to step up further. If you have become comfortable with writing your truth, now you need to go to the next level and speak your truth on a wider scale.

If you’ve not gotten in front of a camera, then you need to take the next step and get in front of a camera!

If you’re already comfortable in front of a camera, then your next stage of courage is to host a webinar or get out and do a live event, like running a free workshop. There is always a next level of courage awaiting you that you can attain. 

Stage Number 5 – Courage to Include a Call To Action

Believe it or not, including a call to action within your material takes courage. Inviting people to opt-in to a freebie requires courage. Adding a call to action on your video or a link to opt-in takes great courage!

Adding a call to action is like putting your hand out to help someone. It is your offer to nurture and provide value for your future clients. There is a possibility that someone won’t take your offer, but you have at least taken the courage to offer!

Stage Number 6 – Courage to Ask for Payment

Believing you are worth your time and believing someone should pay you for your time takes big courage! It means truly believing you and your time are valuable enough to have someone pay you for them. 

You may have been posting live videos or providing free downloads for potential clients. You’ve been giving your future clients value. It’s now time to bring your client further on the journey with you by asking them to pay you for your time and insight.

Remember people are not just paying you for your one-hour of time, they are also paying for your years of experience, education and training, that have led you to where you are now.

It has cost you to gain your knowledge. It is fair and right for you to ask people to invest in what you have already invested in – your education, experience and knowledge!

Stage Number 7 – Courage to Be Consistent

You’ve achieved all the above stages and you now have a fantastic client base. You’re booked well into the future and you have excellent cash flow. This is fantastic and you deserve your hard work to be rewarded.

This is the time where complacency can kick in. Summoning your courage to be consistent is vital in this season. It takes courage to keep being consistent, courage to continually show up and provide value for your clients. It’s about honouring your client and also honouring yourself.

 

Kat

P.S. Want an effective content creation game plan, so you can start attracting more paid clients FAST?

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5 of the Most Costly Mistakes Coaches Make and What to Do Instead

Every 6 months, my sister and I go away and do what we call a ‘summit’.

We book a house or resort and spend the time dreaming, visioning, planning, coaching each other on our challenges and creating.

It’s an amazing experience! (highly recommend)

I’ve just finished one up with Vicki in NZ. We booked a house at Tauranga that looked over a beautiful garden and water.

Vicki is also a Coach so we talk a lot about our businesses and how we can best help our clients.

We talked a lot about the mistakes we’ve made as Coaches, and the mistakes a lot of our clients make.

If you have been in the coaching industry for a while, you’ve probably seen a massive rise in the number of coaches.

Many Coaches are incredible at what they do, but sadly, meeting a profitable Coach is rare.

There’s a big demand for great coaches, but a lot of coaches are getting disillusioned because they’re not making the money that they want.

In today’s video and article, I share with you 5 of the biggest mistakes coaches make and what to do instead to put money into your account and be profitable as a Coach.

If you have been in the coaching industry for a while, you’ve probably seen a massive rise in the number of coaches.

Many coaches are incredible at what they do, but sadly, meeting a profitable Coach is rare.

There are so many people who need help. There’s a big demand for great coaches, but a lot of Coaches are getting disillusioned because they’re not making the money that they want.

Sometimes they wonder if it is even possible for them to become a profitable Coach. 

It doesn’t have to be this way.

ALL the enthusiastic, positive, grateful clients imaginable are out there right now, ready and waiting for you.
But you may be making mistakes that are preventing you from attracting and signing them up.

Here are five of the most costly mistakes Coaches make:

1. Too Broad a Niche

When you start out as a coach, there is a temptation to call yourself a life coach or to call yourself a coach who “helps people discover what they want” or “helps people get unstuck/move forward in their life or fulfill their potential”.

It’s really important that you have that one thing so that people know that you’re masterful at that one thing.

I see this on their Facebook a lot on Facebook pages or websites, they’re too broad and when you’re too broad, you’re not going to attract the right clients because you miss them – and they miss you.

This is a problem that keeps coming up time and time again with the clients that I work with.

They can’t find you because you’re talking like everyone else. You’ll never be an expert, you’ll never be masterful as an authority if you are too broad.

A broad niche might be, for example “I help people get fit” or “I help people get on purpose” or “I help people reclaim their joy”. These types of niches don’t separate you from everyone. They don’t show your uniqueness.

A micro-niche however, is where you can say, for example, “I help busy Mums in the eastern suburbs to get fit at home and have more energy, even without a gym membership”.

It’s not trying to help men, bodybuilders or people who want to put on weight, it’s very specific. It’s Mums, they’re busy and they live in a specific location.

Another micro-niche might be instead of saying, “I help people grow their business”, you might say…

“I help real estate agents go from six figures to seven figures.”

or “I help busy women declutter their homes in 6 weeks or less”

It’s got numbers and it’s very clear that you have mastered a problem a client has. 

2. Not Focusing Enough on Dollar Producing Activities (DPA)

A lot of us get caught up in the fluff, looking at what other people are doing. reading articles, looking at  YouTube clips, going to free courses but there’s no overarching strategy, no step by step clear plan.

Without a focus on DPA wake up in the morning, open your laptop and start feeling busy, but you’re fooling yourself by thinking you’re being productive when there are things you could be doing that directly puts money in your bank account.

How often are you directly speaking to your ideal client and making them an offer?

Ideally, you want to focus on sales conversations and building automated funnels.

My client Gaynor, for example, has set up an automated funnel that leads to a course online. People watch her webinar, click on the link that directs them to the sign-up page for her course. 

That’s a dollar producing activity. It takes time and effect but has incredible rewards. She recently ran a course, where 30+ people had signed up to her course from her webinar and made $10,000 from the funnel.

3. Not Investing in resources and support

As a business owner, you need to pay serious attention to what you’re investing into.

Some people will say to me things like I tried funnels, but it was too hard.

Things that matter require investing the time, energy and commitment. 

If you don’t invest in quality, you’re not going to get a quality result. 

If you’re a Coach and you’re not investing in a Coach, for example, then you’ll feel that incongruency. It’s not aligned, because what you’re selling is something that you’re not buying. 

We all need a Coach. 

So are you investing enough time, resources and technology to get things done? Whether it’s setting up a funnel, webinar or workshop – it all takes energy and resources.

The Coaches that aren’t making it? They are not investing the time, money and resources to make it happen. 

4. Not having enough sales conversations

When you get on the phone and talk to someone that is the most direct line to having money go into your bank account.

A lot of people say … I hate sales. I don’t want to sell, I’m not a salesperson and I get that because I’ve been and I’ve said that many times before, I’ve avoided sales, I’ve avoided sales training, I haven’t even wanted to think of myself as a salesperson.

But sales is the only thing that allows you freedom. If you can’t sell, you’re really stuck building someone else’s dream. And when it really clicked for me, because freedom is my highest value. I had to learn it. There’s no way around it. I had to just learn this skill and learn how to do it.

Sales conversations can happen anywhere. You don’t need to have a product to dive in and start selling something but you can start asking questions.

How many people are you asking questions? How many people do you ask questions to? Finding out their problems, finding out their concerns?

You can do this at networking events or online through Facebook groups – anywhere there are people.

Sales conversations aren’t necessarily the view to sell, it can open up the conversation and see whether you’re a match. 

If you’re not doing that on a regular basis, you’re going to struggle as a coach. 

5. Not using proven systems

Not using proven systems is like reinventing the wheel, trying to figure it all out yourself…

…you might get there but it takes so long when you have people who have proven systems tested and measured and allow us to model after them.

I’ve got millionaire mentors who I’m always looking at what they what they’re doing.

I’ve invested in their programs, I’ve invested over $100,000 doing programs and learning from people who have proven systems.

If you’re struggling, ask yourself am I using proven systems?

You don’t want to be struggling on your own. Being in business as a Coach on your own is so hard to do.

It gets discouraging if you’re not getting clients that hit your income goals and allow you to have the lifestyle that you want. 

If you’re not hitting your goals, then you need to invest in yourself and you need to make sure that you follow proven systems. People have gone before you, figured it all out and you can walk in their footsteps.

 Here’s a recap of the five costly mistakes coaches make and what to do instead:
  1. Having too broad a niche
  2. Not enough focus on dollar producing activities
  3. Not investing in resources and support
  4. Not having enough sales conversations
  5. Not using proven systems

Would you like help to avoid these mistakes and know exactly what you need to do to attract and sign up coaching clients in 2020?

Come along to our workshop on Saturday, 1st February, ‘Get More Coaching Clients’.

If you want to know EXACTLY what to stop wasting your time on and learn the SPECIFIC actions that sign up clients, then this workshop is for you.

To find out the best strategies and tools to help more people and make more money, click below to learn more ?

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? The MOST effective way to design your marketing plan so that you nail your message, and attract the right clients

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3 Things ALL Entrepreneurs MUST Have To Be Successful

If you’re the kind of person who wants to break free from ever having to work for anyone else ever again…
If you want to have the freedom and flexibility to wake up in the morning and do whatever you want, with whoever you want, whenever you want… keep reading.
 
I know not everyone is that kind of person. Not everyone is willing to break away from the security of a job, I get that.
 
But this is for you if you’re the kind of person who wants the fulfillment and growth that comes from the wild, crazy, amazing journey of entrepreneurship.
 
I believe that this is the most important time in history to be considering how to future-proof our income.
The world is changing at such a rapid pace with technology. Many jobs are being replaced and the trend is showing that more and more people are losing their ‘safe’ jobs every day. 
 
So, if you want to future-proof your income and your career, investing in learning business skills is one of the best ways of being able to provide for yourself, regardless of what’s going on in the economy.
 

The opportunities that we have now to start a business are incredible.

They’ve never been anything like this in history.

Even if you feel you’re not smart, you’re not good at technology or you don’t have enough experience, anyone who wants to can learn the skills.

If you want to have a successful business, there are three things that are absolutely crucial to have…
 
1. Clarity
 
The first thing that you need is clarity.
 
About 95% of people who I talk to about entrepreneurship are looking for clarity. They are looking for that crystal clear vision of what they want.
 
Now the thing was clarity, is that we want to know the how before we start moving. People come to me and basically say, can you tell me what to do.
 
We get anxious to know the ‘how’.
 
I read a lot of books on business, entrepreneurship, mindset, high-performance, psychology, all these sorts of things.
 
And if you’re also a lifelong learner, you’re a bit of a sponge and you soak it all up, you’ve probably come across so many things that you could be doing. There are so many options that you can take.
 
And sometimes the enormous amount of options keep people stuck.
 
We could become a coach, we could go into P.R, we could be a Marketer or a Physio, or do a counselling degree or be an Author – there are so many options we could take, right?
 
I was talking to a lady today, who spoke about how when you go around in circles, it’s like being on a roundabout.
 
She talked about it the ‘Arc de Triomphe’ in Paris. You go up to the top of the tower and look down at this roundabout and there are so many cars on it and there are actually 12 different exits you can take.
 
She talked about this analogy that in life it’s like this roundabout, where we go round and round and round in a circle and we don’t know what exit to take.
 
But we actually need to start taking action in order to get the clarity, because you can’t steer a parked car right?
 
And this is the scary part for many people.
 
We are waiting to get the clarity before we move, but actually we need to start moving, and just TAKING an exit, knowing that we can always turn around and come back again and go onto another path.
 
Entrepreneurship is risky, and we need to be willing it try things, and have them not to work, and not frame them as a failure, but frame them as getting more clarity.
 
We can choose to see the ‘wrong’ way as a gift – as something that’s provided more clarity. Something that has cleared away some of the layers preventing us from seeing clearly.
 
Because sometimes we know what we want, but there are a lot of layers on top – beliefs, lies, things that we need to learn before we get success.
 
And so to get direction and clarity, it’s not going to come by sitting and thinking about it and analysing and staying stuck, right? We actually need to choose an exit and go for it and figure out along the journey if it’s right or not.
 
It is a bit of a process of elimination.
 

2. An entrepreneurial mindset

 
The second thing we need to have to be successful as an entrepreneur is an entrepreneurial mindset.
 
An entrepreneurial mindset is completely different to a nine-five mindset.
 
There are similarities, for example, you need to work hard, have commitment, show up and be consistent, be professional and all those things, but the entrepreneurial mindset is completely unique.
 
There are characteristics that you don’t need to have when you’re working in a nine to five job.
 
Those of you who know this journey, know what I’m talking about.
 
There’s a certain level of resilience that you need because you don’t have the certainty that comes more with the nine to five job.
 
Of course, working for someone else definitely don’t have the certainty like they used to. My Mum and Dad worked in the same career all of their lives, their whole careers.
 
But nowadays we tend to do lots of different jobs, and there’s a lot more redundancies happening, so all jobs are getting less and less safe, and, but when you work for yourself, you need to have the mindset of responsibility.
 
It’s knowing – if I need to figure something out, then the buck stops with me, rather than with the boss or your manager or your leader.
 
When you’re an entrepreneur, you ARE the boss, so it’s a completely different mindset.
 
It’s having the ability to wear a lot of different hats, to be the leader if you’ve got a team, you have to delegate well.
 
To be a strong leader, as WELL as that person motivating yourself -because you don’t have someone telling you what to do so, you don’t have that hierarchy. You ARE at the top of the hierarchy as the leader, but also the one doing the grunt work!
 
So if you go into entrepreneurship with a nine to five mentality, it’s not going to work.
 

3. The right tools

 
The third thing that you need to be successful as an entrepreneur is that you need the right tools.
 
When you pick up the wrong tools, it’s going to waste a lot of time, it’s going to set you back.
 
There is so much misinformation out there. There’s so much jargon and complex strategies, and people are more confused than ever.
 
As more and more people become entrepreneurs, there is more and more confusion. So knowing the right tools and the right systems to use – the right things that you should be spending and investing your time and the things that you shouldn’t be investing time in.
 
I didn’t know this when I started. I was doing so much content creation and doing so many emails and posts and all these things that weren’t getting a good result.
 
I wasn’t investing the right amount of time on the right things that were actually going to push the needle for my business.
 
I was spending about 80% of my time on things that were getting me no result.
 
And then I learned the right tools, the right software, the right strategy, and the practical things to go in the right direction.
 
So, you need the right mindset as you go into it. If you’re thinking wrong, it doesn’t matter how many of the right tools you have, you will sabotage yourself, every time.
 
And then you need the right tools because it doesn’t matter how good your mindset is, if you’ve got the wrong tools, if you’re using the wrong strategy, you won’t succeed.
 
If you’re looking for certain clients but you’re using the wrong message to attract them – the wrong language, images, branding, if there is no match between your message and your market, then it’s not going to work.
 
I’m going to be unpacking each of these 3 things at a deeper level and getting more specific on each of these three things in my videos over the next week.
 
If you’re a female and you’re around in Sydney on the 14th of November, I’m running a free meetup.
 
Sorry guys, this is a one-off evening for ladies.
 
I don’t do this very often for just the ladies, but I’m doing this because I have a heart to put the right tools into woman’s hands, the things that I wish that I had learned.
 
I believe that women need to set goals slightly differently to men and women have some specific characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses that I can address best by only talking to the ladies about it.
 
It’s for you if you’ve started a business or if you’ve been in business for a long time.
 
You are going to draw great strategies and tools from it and great habits of high performing female successful entrepreneurs.
 
Or if you don’t have a business. If you’re curious about entrepreneurship if you’re dabbling and want to put your toe in the water and find out what this world is all about.
 
And before you kind of make a leap, you might want to come and meet some other female entrepreneurs and make some new friends and meet some like-minded people and have a great time with the girls, then this is for you!
 

You can learn more here: bit.ly/sos-workshop

 
Bring your girlfriends!
 
Love to see you there!
Kat xx

 

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How To Use Your Tonality To Come Across More Confidently

Want some simple hacks for how to use your voice to come across more confidently?

 

 

In order to come across more confidently, we have 3 ways to do it:

  1. Our body language (posture, gestures, facial expressions etc.)
  2. How we say it (tonality)
  3. What we say (the words)

This is part 2 of a 3-part series on confidence about the different communication styles of confidence.

In part 1 I share how to use more confident body language.

In this article, I talk about tonality – how we say things.

Our language is like musical rhythm and melody. There are seven notes in the musical scale. And we can take our voice up and down.

Think about the pitch, the power, the pauses and the pace of the way that we speak. We can use the variety of these things within our tonality to come across more or less confident.

At both a conscious and an unconscious level, we can tell when someone’s confident by the way they express the words coming out of their mouth.

The words coming out of our mouth is only about 7% of communication – that means about 93% of our communication is body language and tonality.

Tonality makes up about 38% of our total communication.

To come across more confident as a business owner or in the workplace, it comes down to three things – our body language, our tonality and the words we speak.

You know very quickly when someone is unconfident.

Think now about an unconfident person – the way they speak.

Our brain is wired to be able to pick up if someone is certain and confident and sure themselves or not because we tend to trust people more if they’re more confident.

So you’re already doing this at an unconscious level.

Now think of the most confident person you know. Think about the tonality, how they actually speak. They do certain, predictable things that project confidence.

What are those things? Here are 3…

1. Speak With More Volume

People who are confident, generally speak louder.

There are quiet people who are quietly confident too and don’t feel the need to speak loudly.

It’s about finding the sweet spot.

You will probably know where you sit in the spectrum.

The most important thing is to bring awareness to where you’re at and whether you need to speak louder, clearer and stronger.

I’m sure you’ve been in a meeting where there’s someone who speaks super loud, and they actually get a lot of attention. Even if it annoys you, they do generally come across as more confident if they’re speaking louder.

Sometimes it’s to compensate for them NOT being confident.

But in many cases, when people want to increase their confidence, I notice that they could increase their volume.

So, if you want instantly be noticed or respected more and if you want people to perceive you as more confident, start increasing your volume.

I used to speak so quietly. I was so unconfident and when I was in a meeting, I would speak so timidly and shy.

I remember being in this boardroom meeting when I first was working for a big company. And my Supervisor asked me to speak, and she kept saying “Speak up Kat, we can’t hear you”

I remember not liking the attention not liking people’s eyes on me. And so I just spoke really, really quietly.

But, as soon as someone speaks quietly, for example, if someone stands up in a meeting or at a networking event and speaks really softly, it’s often a sign they’re not too confident in what they’re saying.

If you’re really shy and timid and nervous about what you’re saying, you’ll probably speak really quietly, and you probably won’t get that respect and that confidence from other people that you’re looking for.

If you currently speak quietly and you want to be heard more and be more confident – you may need to turn up the volume knob.

I’m not saying shout… I’m saying project confidence.

Even if it feels uncomfortable (which it probably will), if you’ve been speaking quite quietly for a long time, it’s going to take practice.

Confidence is going to come as a by-product of competence.

As you take lots of action in your life, and get better at stuff and build your skill acquisition and you get more knowledge you become more confident.

As you start facing your fears and doing things like public speaking and Facebook Lives and webinars or going out and making sales calls, you will find it way easier to speak with confidence and naturally have a higher volume.

Whatever it is that you’re doing to face your fears and get stronger and more confident as a person will help.

That’s going to be a byproduct of being more confident naturally.

But you can also be perceived as more confident instantly by just turning it up, so that’s an easy little hack you can do straight away.

Just start speaking louder and you will most likely be perceived as more confident.

2. Take your intonation across, or down

Intonation is the rise and fall of your voice. Think of musical notes.

If you are asking a question, it’s ok to go up in your intonation at the end of the question.

But if you go up in your intonation when you end your statements, it sounds as though you are questioning what you’re saying.

you’re when you’re

When you’re speaking to a client or potential client, speaking on video, on a webinar or at a workshop, you want to make sure that when you’re making statements that go across or down in their inflection.

In order to come across more confident, you want to train yourself to only go up if you’re asking a question.

If you’re not asking a question, go straight across, or go down. Deal?

This is particularly common with women. Often women speakers go up at the end of their statements.

I’ve had to really work on this habit and I still am not perfect at it, but working on it.

I tended to have a bit more of an apologetic way of speaking that I’ve had to really work on and train myself out of it.

One way to do this is to read yourself books, such as children’s storybooks and practice coming down or practice going across in your statements.

Newsreaders are brilliant at this. So if you do want to practice this, if you do find yourself going up a lot, then you might want to pay attention to newsreaders because they’re actually trained to go across and down.

Unless you’re asking a question or unless you’re trying to build rapport, and going up is a way of softening what you’re saying. So if you’re saying something harsh or direct, you can add that little flick up at the end, if you just kind of want to soften it a little bit and not come across quite so forceful or direct.

You’ve got to know who you’re speaking to, what they’re going to respond with.

And remember, it all comes down to outcome, what outcome do you want? If you’re going to show certainty and have people respect you and listen to you, you do not want that ‘questioning’ inflection, unless you’re asking questions.

3. Lower your pitch

People who speak with a deeper voice are typically seen as having higher status. A new study in Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests lowering your pitch also increases how you perceive yourself and makes you feel more powerful.

The study showed that students who spoke in a deep voice were perceived as more powerful by both themselves and their peers.

The implications are summed up by the researchers simply:

” This would add a simple and generally available instrument to your strategic arsenal: your own voice. The lowering of your own voice could then be used not only to influence others but also to influence yourself.”

I used to have a higher voice, and I trained myself to speak lower. Now a lower, a lower pitch is again a byproduct of becoming confident. So my voice actually got lower.

Just practice it, and you will no doubt come across as more confident. S

If you have a high pitched voice, like a higher note on the musical scale, straight away your positioning, authority and expertise often lowers in the mind of the listener. It usually happens at an unconscious level.

If you think about it, often mums who have quiet, soft or high pitched voices, often get the Dad to step in. And often that masculine can bring a feeling of safety and trust.

I remember when I was a kid the blinds caught on fire. I distinctly remember wanting my Dad to come home and hearing his voice as he came in, it was like I felt safe with that lower, deeper voice.

I’m not saying be overly masculine, but just by having that slightly lower pitch, you likely will find that you’ll get more respect and will come across as more confident.

So those are three ways you can have come across more confident by using your tonality.

1. Speak with more volume

2. Take your intonation across, or down

3. Lower your pitch

Give it a go. I’d love to hear what you think.

Remember to be real. there’s a side of you that’s confident turn up that side.

Don’t be fake. Don’t be inauthentic. Don’t come across super weird.

Just adjust those ‘knobs’ on your tonality and bring the bring the volume up, bring the intonation across and bring the pitch down and you will definitely find that people perceive you differently.

Test it out and let me know how you go.

I wish you all the success in coming across as more confident!

Kat xo

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