Would you like to be able to better influence people?
If you are in business, it is likely that you have already come across the value of being able to influence people.
Being able to influence people for good is one of the most powerful forces on the planet.
Some people wonder whether influence is about being manipulative or pushy, or trying to convince someone to do something that they don’t want to do.
True influence – when it comes with a pure, genuine desire to be of service – is about being able to help people to get MORE of what they want.
Influencing for good is about INSPIRING people to take action to ultimately improve the quality of their life.
People experience remarkable magic when they’re inspired and feel the energy of their vision.
Being able to influence people is an honour – it means that they have your respect and your trust. I
f you want to help people have powerful breakthroughs and transform their lives, you’ve got to be able to influence them.
Influence is an incredibly powerful skill to learn and master.
Since 2003, I’ve been so blessed to work with thousands of people and helped influence them to make positive changes in their lives.
Some people wonder whether influence is being manipulating or pushy, or trying to convince someone to do something that they don’t want to do.
Influence – when it comes from the right place of wanting to genuinely HELP people – is not about trying to change someone’s mind. It’s about INSPIRING them to take action on what THEY want.
True influence, married with a pure desire to help, is about being able to help people to get MORE of what they want, and ultimately improve the quality of their life.
There are many different ways we can use influence in business and marketing, whether that’s on your Facebook or in an email that you send out. Maybe it’s on video or your landing pages on your website.
Influence through marketing can be used in a sales conversation or inviting someone to make a decision to buy your product or service – it’s helping someone to make a decision to take new action.
We Want to Influence People to Help Them Get Clear on What They Want
If you’re a coach or consultant or a healer or practitioner, you work with people to help them improve their lives.
To be able to influence, you need to help people to identify what’s in the way of getting what they want. If they’re in one place, and they want to be in another, help them identify what is actually in the way and what is stopping them getting what they want.
Identify what the block is specifically. They may have a vague idea. Help them to actually overcome that block. It may be a limiting belief or a block of some type of emotion, like fear or doubt. Part of influence is actually helping them to overcome the block and have a breakthrough.
People have breakthroughs when they’re fully aligned with their values and they feel the energy of it and they can imagine and see the breakthrough.
Think about the last time that you had a breakthrough. It could be a little breakthrough like a penny dropping, or it could be a complete epiphany moment and be absolutely transformational. The breakthrough comes in a range on the spectrum.
If you want to help people have more breakthroughs and transform, you’ve got to be able to influence them.
Authentic Ethical Influence as a Tool
Influence in itself is a tool. And like any tool you can use it for bad or for good. Any method or technique or strategy can be used for good or bad, so techniques and methods in and of themselves are neutral, it’s how you use them that makes them positive or negative.
Being able to influence effectively helps people:
💎 Get clear on their future vision
💎 Identify what’s in the way of they want
💎 Overcome their blocks
💎 Have a breakthrough
💎 Improve the quality of their lives
1 – Discover Their BFS: Best Future Self
The first way to influence someone to actually change is to help them to discover their future self. Last week I spoke about our future self and how you can really tap into that vision that you have of yourself.
We want to discover who their best future self is. To do that, encourage them to think into the future and put themselves there. Who are they and what are they doing when they envisage the best version of their future self?
Thinking of your best future-self inspires you, lifts up your energy level and you have amazing feelings when you think about it.
Remember that people don’t want your product or your service. They don’t want a coaching session. They want to feel like they can become their best future version of themselves.
We don’t want to just focus on the method of how we help people transform, we want to focus on the version of themselves that they would like to become.
Keep their best future self at the top of their minds. You want to ask people to remember that vision of themselves, of being the best and why it’s important to them.
So many people when they’re having sales conversations and trying to influence, they don’t understand this. They like to rush it and wonder why people aren’t signing up with them.
I’ve done this myself! I was in fitness for 15 years. I always just wanted to rush people to the transformation and jump into a 12-week challenge so they could start losing the weight, instead of taking the time to really find out why it was so important to them to lose the weight.
I needed to ask why it was so important for them to lose the 10 kilos. Was it because they wanted to attract a dream partner or another reason?
Asking people their ‘why’ is a really powerful question to use.
An example you would say is; “I just want to go a little bit deeper now. Could you tell me, why is it really important to you right now?”
Often they may give you a surface reason at first, so asking if you can go a bit deeper to get the real reason is important.
When I’m in a conversation with someone and helping them to be inspired to change, I like to really take notice of the things they say, the things that come out with extra power and extra life.
I was recently having a chat with a lady who said she really wanted to do a TED talk. I asked her to tell me what her life looked like in her future vision. She said it was very important to her because she wants to feel as though she’s achieved something.
She said a lot of other things, but when she talked about doing a TED talk and her reason for it, there was extra emotion, energy and power in her voice. This is what had power in it, and it’s here that she is really connected to this vision.
When you are talking to people, you need to take note of the power words that people are connected to. It’s when they are talking about these passionate topics, that they feel a shift in their body. That is real influence.
2 – Listen Intently
Listen deeply and intently to people’s feelings anytime they talk emotional words. Listen for any type of feeling when they speak in images. If they share that they can imagine it, see it and feel it, then feedback to them what you are hearing.
It’s so powerful when you deeply, intently listening to someone, and for someone to repeat their keywords back to them. Their pathways are being painted back to them and the person you are listening to will say, ‘They get me’.
It’s just such a beautiful feeling when someone acknowledges the things that are important to you. If you’re really listening to someone and they’re talking a lot, you don’t want to interrupt them, but take notes. Once they have finished talking you can feedback to them how you understood, using their keywords.
You want to be listening so deeply it’s like having a bubble around you. When I’m having a conversation on zoom it’s quite easy. It’s just the two of you, but if you’re in a live event, I just imagine a bubble around me and I focus and listen only to that person.
You can notice when there is a notable shift in a person. It shows in the tonality of their voice and in their body language if you’re on a video call.
If you’re on the phone, you can hear emotion in the voice and you can hear the tonality shifting, so you want to really be present and listening deeply.
When you notice the energy and emotions in their feelings and in the imagery you are hearing, then feed that back to them.
3- Share Your CPR
C = Credibility
P = Process
R = Results
C – Credibility
When you want to influence someone to work with you, or listen to what you have to say or to your presentation, or if you’re just going to educate them on Facebook Live, you want to share your credibility.
Share what kind of experience, knowledge and skills you have. Why should someone work with you? Why should someone listen to you?
I remember when I was a personal trainer and worked at a gym, there was once a guy doing a cooldown and leaning back and jerking his neck. They gym instructor went flying up to him and instead of saying asking if he could share a way that could be more effective, he literally shouted out ‘Stop’, and the whole gym looked around as if he was doing something wrong.
You need to frame your advice with your credibility. So you might say to the person, that you’ve worked as a gym trainer for the last 10 years, and you can ask them if they would mind if you shared an effective cool down that will also help protect their back.
Because you’ve shared your credibility, suddenly that person will be open to listen and hear what you are going to offer them and they will be more influenced to change.
Always start with your credibility. And that’s why a lot of times when I talk on videos I talk about how long I’ve been in business, or how many people I’ve coached, because some of those people watching me, may not know my background, so telling my experience builds credibility.
P – Process
You want to share the process that you recommend people go through. So rather than just dumping a whole lot of information at them, and giving them advice, explain a process.
For example you could say to someone, “You told me that you want to do a TED talk and it’s really important to you, because you want to prove to yourself that you can do it. You also want that sense of achievement right?”
I would continue, “For the last 10 years, I’ve been helping people to improve their presentation skills. This is the process that I take people through to get that. The first step you need to identify your audience…” Then I’ll go through and explain the steps.
People love step-by-step and they love organised knowledge. There’s so much information around on YouTube, Google and blogs and webinars, but people want organised knowledge and a clear process of what they can do straight away.
They want to know what they do first, what they do second and they want to receive your expertise in a process.
Tell them the process that they need to go through in order for them to achieve results.
R – Results
The third thing is to share what results people will be able to create, if they follow your process.
So for example, I would say, ‘Over the last 17 years, I have been running successful businesses and I’ve been really blessed to have helped hundreds of people to achieve results.’
I would then continue, ‘I’ve discovered there’s a clear process that successful people go through to get their results. The first step is to identify your ideal client and locate them. The second step is packaging your unique brilliance and organising your content in a way that’s digestible for people…’ etc.
I describe my process and the results that my future client will get from going through this process.
I then describe what the results ultimately mean for my future client, and how it will help them to create a profitable business, with time flexibility and freedom.
So to recap the 3 Powerful Influencing Methods To Inspire People To Change
1 – Discover Their BFS: Best Future Self
2 – Listen Intently
3- Share Your CPR
It’s my mission to help people increase their influence and make a positive, meaningful impact in the world.
Leaders helping leaders to influence → helping leaders to influence. What a massive ripple effect!
What to make a bigger impact?
Come join my free Facebook group ‘Amplify Your Influence’ for passionate, service-based entrepreneurs.
I look forward to seeing you there!