Does selling feel uncomfortable to you?
Do you ever wonder if it’s possible to consistently enroll more ideal clients without using pushy sales techniques?
In this video, I share how to overcome any dislike or fear of selling you have, and even get to the point of finding it easy and fun.
Does this feel familiar?
· You dread having to sell and would rather someone sign up without having to have a sales call
· You ever feel awkward when you have to ask for money
· You tend to avoid sales calls
I’ve noticed that this distaste for selling is particularly common among women coaches.
Most of the women that I know, myself included, when we got into this industry, learned sales from men. No disrespect to the men. We love them. The strategies can work.
However, for many women, not everything we learned felt aligned to us.
And even though we might see it working, there’s something about it that makes us feel uncomfortable.
I started selling my services 20 years ago. I had left my job working at a telecommunications company to start a business as a personal trainer.
I went to a weekend business boot camp run by the gym where I worked, and I remember the moment I realised that I had to learn to sell.
We were taught to sell using a sales script. I did NOT want to follow a script. But I also didn’t want to fail.
So, I tried the script at the course. But when it came to doing it with real-life potential clients, I left a heap of the questions out. And I rushed the process.
I had a lot of fear of selling and I really did not like it.
I’ve noticed that this is particularly common among women coaches.
I asked a number of my business friends why they think so many women coaches hate selling.
Here are some of the answers I got:
We don’t want to seem aggressive or desperate
We don’t want to reek of desperation
I think there’s actually a mindset that it’s unfeminine to sell.
There’s a common narrative amongst women “If someone has a need, I should just help them.”
Many women are used to kids, friends, and partners turning to them when they need help, so in business it feels more natural to help for free than to sell.
This was from one of my male mentors who I highly respect and doesn’t teach pushy sales:
With men, there’s often more of a focus on money and finance – and more of a mission to get the sale. Most women are typically more caring and empathic, more understanding, better listeners, better at creating emotional connection. Because women are typically so much more relationship-orientated, I think women can be better at sales if they learn the skills.
All of this really got me thinking.
The sales process was primarily created based on the archetype of a salesman selling something like vacuum cleaners or cars.
It’s no wonder we get put off these masculine tactics.
There are so many reasons why the old-school sales methods DO NOT WORK for most of us women.
And what we are selling requires a deeper engagement and level of rapport and trust to create a connection.
Also, because we are selling deeply impactful services, the entire way that we capture hearts and minds is different to many traditional sales techniques.
Many of us have been sold to badly and don’t want to be that person.
I’ve observed that the way that men and women sell is actually quite different.
Our levels of comfort with different types of sales strategies are also quite different.
I was listening to a podcast recently called ‘The Life Coach School’ podcast by Brooke Castillo who was interviewing a lady called Aprille Franks. I heard a line that jumped out to me. It was: “men sell in a more penetrating way, and women are more attractors”.
Masculine energy projects, feminine energy receives and supports.
So, understanding the dynamics from a psychological standpoint on how different most men and women are when it comes to sales and marketing is really helpful.
We are a combination of masculine energy and feminine energy, and I truly do believe that we can bring both in a beautiful and effective way.
We can be who we are and sell in the way that we would appreciate being sold to.
A lot of women coaches know their service is worth good money, but they consistently don’t receive what they’re worth.
While women know that they need to sell in their business, a lot of women will literally sabotage themselves and not sell, or sell to their ability and then feel some resentment towards their business.
In some ways this is less about selling, and more about our ability to receive money.
Something I’ve observed that’s really interesting is that, if there’s no money exchange, as women we are incredible at selling if there’s something we think our girlfriends genuinely need.
I’ve also observed that women are amazing at ‘selling’ people on things – movies, shoes on sale, favourite cafes. Mums sell their kids on doing their homework or eating their veggies.
We are constantly spreading the word about things we like and influencing others.
But when it comes to selling ourselves? Not so much…
Whatever it is that has gotten us here, we have to put a stake in the ground and say “enough is enough”. We deserve to be paid well for the amazing service we provide.
I saw on Instagram recently a video by Sarah Blakely, the creator of Spanx. She shared that in the US, the year women could apply for a credit card without their husbands signature was 1974. It’s so wild to think about this…
And “Do you know what year women were granted the right to get a business loan on their own, without a man co-signing? 1988! What?! Think of all the businesses that could have been started by women before that!”
I think that history and the power that women didn’t have does have an impact on us because of the oppression of women that gets passed down through generations.
So, how do we start to enjoy selling?
It starts with our mindset. If you’re not strong in your confidence and self-worth, you’re going to keep hitting a ceiling.
If you haven’t done the inner work about why this is fear and dislike of selling is coming up, you’re always going to feel like you can’t charge what you’re worth.
You’re going to keep thinking: “Who am I to charge that? I don’t deserve it, I don’t want to be pushy, I don’t want to get rejected” and so on.
So, get coached on it. Getting coaching is the fastest way to shift your mindset.
Most of us realise that our success increases when we’re confident.
And the fastest and easiest way to become more confident is to become more competent. As we become more skilled at selling, our fear shrinks and our confidence grows.
Because if you don’t address your competence, it’s almost impossible to be confident and love selling. And get clients and grow your business to where you want it.
It’s totally possible to learn how to sell your services elegantly, authentically and confidently.
Ask yourself – what specific parts of the sales process do I need to get better at? Do I need to learn more about how to qualify, how to open sales conversations, how to help people with their concerns, how to present our offer, how to close sales?
Get around people who have the skills you want to develop and are making good money from coaching.
For example, if you want to earn six figures a year as a coach, spend time with other women coaches who earn six figures a year. Because that will build your belief.
I used to hate selling, but now I love it. I see it as a great opportunity to help people improve their lives. It is an honour to be part of a woman’s transformation journey.
And I want every woman to have confidence in what she’s selling and have vastly more sales conversations.
Because if you don’t sell, you don’t have clients. And if you don’t have clients – you don’t have the income you deserve and make the impact you want to make.
This is something I’ve helped thousands of women with. And I’m positive I can help you too.
Would you like help to sell your coaching services?
Learning how to sell elegantly and with confidence can be an absolute game-changer in your business.
I offer a free clarity call to see if we’re the right fit to work together to get you the results you deserve.
This call is specifically for experienced women coaches who want to get more ideal clients consistently.
You can book your 15-minute call here
I hope this has been helpful.
Keep showing up, keep sharing, keep shining – the world needs your gifts.
And you deserve to be paid for them.
Love Kat xo
P.S: Whenever you’re ready… here are 4 other ways I can help you grow your business:
1. Work with me to get more clients
If you’d like to work directly with me to get more clients… send me a Message with the word “Clients”… tell me a little about your business and what you’d like to work on together, and I’ll get you all the details.
2. Join our community and connect with like-minded Coaches & Experts
It’s our Facebook community where ambitious females entrepreneurs learn how to increase their income, influence, and impact.
3. Grab a FREE copy of my ‘Client Attraction Checklist’
This is a powerful roadmap to attracting leads, signing clients, and scaling your coaching business.
4. Check out my latest offers and events:
Click here for upcoming events and latest special offers
Big love
Kat xo
Leave a Reply